Pedophilia #101

Working  professionally in sexuality is edgy. Working with children (and I refer to people under the age of 18 years old)  and sexuality is off the edge.   No person wants to imagine children being sexual, consensually or non consensually. So  I am sure you realise that professionals  who choose to work clinically and conduct research  into pedophilia have got to be brave, scientific and confident to withstand the arrows that get slung at them.

I am privileged enough to know Dr James Cantor, psychologist, clinician and sex researcher , located in Toronto, Canada. He is the leading global person doing  research into pedophilia. Over years of listening to him  at conferences and continuing my learning from his online presence, I have learned to still my initial heightened  visceral response of body tension , throat constriction , shallow breathing and anger. As an activist and  defender of LGBTI,  women and children’s rights, I cannot bear the idea of non consensual sexuality especially adults with children. I am sure you feel very much the same.

  I have grown to understand a little of what pedophilia is about. I ask you to hold back judgment, consider compassion .. and hope you will keep reading this so you  can learn with me.

Lets get our terms sorted out to obviate confusion, stigma and hopefully  will lead to better means of protecting children from unwanted harmful sexual contact by adults.

Pedophilia: Pedophilia is a “pattern of erotic attraction that typically begins to manifest in puberty and is stable over life”, says Cantor. The DSM5 states these individuals have a pedophilic sexual orientation but not pedophilic disorder.

Pedophilic Disorder: There are three criteria for pedophilic disorder in DSM-5: if you fulfil these criteria, you are considered mentally ill and treated for this illness.

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger).

B. The individual has acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.
C. The individual is at least age 16 years and at least 5 years older than the child


Child MolestersChild molestation is a crime involving a range of indecent or sexual activities between an adult and a child, usually under the age of 14. They do not necessarily imply that the perpetrator bears a particular psychological makeup or motive. For example, not all incidents of child molestation are perpetrated by pedophiles; sometimes the perpetrator has other motives for his or her actions and does not manifest an ongoing pattern of sexual attraction to children. Thus, not all child molestation is perpetrated by pedophiles, and not all pedophiles actually commit child molestation.

So you get the differences, right ? Pedophilia is a sexual orientation , pedophilic disorder is a mental disorder as these people cannot control their urges to act out  and child molesters are people who opportunistically sexually prey on vulnerable children and are not likely to be  pedophiles.

Lets look at some myths and facts about pedophilia: I have taken these from the documentary made on James Cantor and his work. I urge you to view the whole movie.

FACT: In Cantor’s work, he scans the brains of pedophiles. His findings include :

  • pedophiles  tend to have IQs that are 10 points lower than the average person, plus lower memory scores.
  • A larger portion of pedophiles are left-handed or ambidextrous than the general public
  • This is a brain phenomenon, although they have not yet been able to identify what’s been affecting the brain development

FACT: Just because someone is a pedophile, doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Support group, Virtuous Pedophiles,  offers  a safe place and reduction of molestations for pedophiles who have to keep their attraction a secret for fear of the law and social stigma.

FACT: A professional health care provider is ethically obligated by law to report to the police  any  pedophilic signs or behaviour. This keeps pedophiles outside the doors of therapists so  placing them at higher risk of acting out as they have no place to go for help.

FACT : Pedophiles are not attracted to all children. Just like heterosexuals, pedophiles are attracted to a certain gender and age.

FACT: Not all pedophiles are only attracted to kids. The majority of pedophiles often first notice their sexual interest in young children when they are in their teens or 20s,and remain  only attracted to children. However many are attracted to same age people , marry , have children and acknowledge  only later in life that their primary attraction is to children .

Against this backdrop it is easy to see why it is very difficult to work professionally with pedophiles. Getting pedophiles into therapy rooms allows us opportunity to manage their behaviour so preventing harm to children and to pedophiles themselves. Locking them up in jails serves no purpose to anyone.

Ideally one would want less stigma and more compassion and understanding from the public – without denying the extensive harm that is caused to  children.

This is a hard ask . If you have read to the end of this blog, you may have anger towards me, that I dare suggest empathy for people who harm children beyond repair. Re read it, re think it, watch Dr Cantor’s documentary and still never stop protecting your children.


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