In “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” Ogi Ogas taught me that more women read romance online than men watch porn. I was aghast and did some of my own research and found that all kinds of women , even smart women are reading romance. I began to search for and read romance novels.
Venturing into romance books is not merely good business sense. After all I am a therapist first and foremost. Couples consult me as women commonly lack sexual desire. Fantasies are limited in women. Their sexual imaginations are not fed. They need fantasies to feel sexual and aroused. Romance novels and women’s porn can educate , entertain and arouse women – and their partners. I want women aroused and making sexual choices based on self knowledge and wide open information . The old fashioned in-out is romantic for just so long before she cheats for excitement that she feels too scared to explore alone. I want women to explore alone.
My first romance book I read as a teen was “Peyton Place” by Grace Metalious. It was banned in good old Apartheid South Africa but my father brought in a copy together with his monthly Playboy magazines. It was deeply darkly sexy. I began to see my own small town as a Peyton Place as I gazed at the open secret affairs adults were engaging in. I was soon reading Harold Robbins and thankfully had the good guidance of my parents to know that this was constructed fantasy aimed at men , not reflective of women’s sexual pleasures. I clearly remember one passage describing a man’s penis thrusting so deep into a woman that it came out of her mouth. And she begged for more and deeper.
Im not saying women do not enjoy deep penetration but hell does this mean every lover has to have that length penis??
As I grew older I was distracted reading the classics , including D.H.Lawrence’s Lady Chatterly’s Lover and my favourite of all Fanny Hill by John Cleland and grew fast tired of book club in which women chose badly written chic lit just to access some sexy scenes.
Suddenly I am thrown into modern day romance and sex. First call to order in romance to the Dr Eve store was iconic Mills and Boon. Geez they have a handle on women’s fantasies all right:) Categories vary from modern romance to medical to mystery to historical. There is a really great selection of Afrikaans Mills and Boon now in store.
And then I called up another icon of romance and sex: Black Lace. Aah, its keeping me awake at night. I bought in 7 titles into the store. I do wish the industry would get over “Fifty shades” and stop capitalising on the bondage theme. Let’s stretch women differently please.
And so it is I am stretching you to read these books- unashamedly. Buy up the titles and bring them into your book clubs . Enjoy the tingling thrills and be courageous enough to insert your sexy thoughts between your own sheets.
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