Vocalizing is a physiological response in women , happens naturally for them.
She simply can’t stop the “OMG”, “yes, yes, now” and more clichés which are truisms. He is quiet, may grunt, and a whimper is really outrageous vocalizing for him.
Does a woman want her man to be more vocal? To let her know she's doing the right thing? To show he's really present with her (as opposed to living out some fantasy in his head)?
Oh yes, and yes some more. There are different forms of vocalizing: some women love to hear language of love at that time, others hard core sexy talk, others fantasy talk, others a guidance of what her man needs she learns how to please him. Primarily it is a form of connection that all people want else sex can be a distancing, anonymous experience even between people who have been lovers for years. The voice sound is important and then add on the words and tone – so many people have silent sex which can make one feel very alone and lonely in that so called intimate space.
The question is how to get a guy to vocally caress his partner? To do what is not easy , what may even be uncomfortable and leaves him feeling self conscious?
Begin outside of bed/sex situation. Learn how to compliment her generally, learn how to share your feelings about her outside bedroom scene, learn to talk fantasies when you’re having a cup of coffee together. Get comfortable with your own language and sounds then its easier to take it into the bedroom which should just be an extension of your lives together- not a separate event.
You may be wondering what kinds of things to say to her/him? I hate to be prescriptive so this is task of the man himself: to find his own voice, sounds. Men must give themselves permission to speak out what sounds and feels comfortable for themselves. We women are so used to talking generally that we think comments like “mmm” or “that feels great” are simply simple- but it is not so for all men. It’s a good idea for him to let her know how HE feels in those moments -plus all other moments of their time together, Putting on some music that explains how he feels is a great idea as is reading her a sonnet while they making out- let’s get creative hereJ
And you must consider for yourself what are definite no-no’s for him to say things, that would be an instant turn off. Only he will know what his woman does /does not find acceptable – for example she might hate porn so talking porn language to her will be a no-go area. Please not to say “:every other woman has an orgasm when I do this to her- what’s wrong with you?”” No comparisons with other people… And of course any comments on her weight are not going to go down well.. whether they are positive “you look great- you’ve lost weight” or negative as in “you need to loose a little weight”. Also this is not the time to express self consciousness about your penis size – do not make your partner the gate keeper of your own insecurities.
Any suggestions from guys?
