Marriage survive without sex? YES!
I find this question amusing and redundant: of course marriages can survive without sex! Look around you, look in the mirror: when was the last time YOU had sex? Most couples with whom I work are married , most of them seldom have sex. And they happily share their own research : their friends are in the same boat. Which is saying they are not pathological and hence in therapy. Research reflects this: 43% of women are not interested in having sex and 1 out of 5 do not enjoy sex. Marriage remains the number one supported institution universally. People enter into 2nd and 3rd marriages with enthusiasm . Marriage is the place where your sexuality dims out like a dying candle.
Let’s bring in more facts. After children, women are less interested in being sexual. People instinctively feel more obligated to stay in marriages after babies- even without sex.
Menopause brings the next critical phase for a woman’s sexuality. Until she becomes hormonally replete she is unlikely to want sex. Indeed she may divorce at this juncture of her life but it’s likely she will stay married.
Let’s factor men into this debate. He is fast becoming less interested in sex – with his wife. More men are turning to technology for a quick sexual release: its a sneak through the front door at the end of a stressful bacon-making day, a quick internet porn masturbation session, and then “huney I’m home”. But no sex with his wife.
Marriages survive without sex does not mean people are not having sex. They are. But not within their marriages. Extra marital affairs are the new order as it becomes part of the normative cycle of a relationship: marry, have a kid, one of you cheat, have another kid, divorce or stay married. Without sex.
One could wonder how come marriages do last despite no or little sex. The ancient needs for protection, provision, caring for children are strong motivators to stay married. Companionship, friendship, laziness, fear, also motivates people to stay.
Sex? Well the way that most people do it I can well understand why they stop: it becomes routine, predictable and boring. Settling for mediocrity in marriage and sex is so insulting. No wonder women grab a vibrator and say “goodnight huney” with a smile on their faces. And no wonder male masturbators continue to be best selling male sex toys.
Your marriage will survive without sex - will you??
