I deliberately separate "loving" from "sexing' as a matter of academic explanation. Of course we are all perfectly capable of separating these two concepts and actions in our own lives but that's not the point of this blog.
On Sunday 24 July New York became the 6th state in the USA to legalise same sex marriage. Not Civil Union , not Domestic Partnership, but Marriage. South Africa settled for Civil Union angering human rights organisations. New York did it right. Somehow the appeal of mariage remains of great sentimental value to people. Its a pity half the population of married people choose to divorce and who cna ever calculate how many marrieds are actually realizing their fariytale lives promised by marriage.
My wish is that same sex marriage will establish creative new norms, or preferably no norms, rather principles and values, for marriage that will teach heterosexual people how to manage this institution called marriage in a more respectful and happy manner. My fear is that they will slip into the perfectly known, sold and delivered heterosexist model of marriage that we know does not work real well in its present form.
Uganda has created a milestone by including MSM (men who have sex with men) into HIV/AIDS prevention programs. This is incredible, and extra ordinary when one considers that up until early this year a new bill against homosexuals was to be passed whereby same sex loving/sexing people, their families and friends would be murdered, incarcerated and severly punished on discovery of their sexual orientation. Inclusion into HIV/AIDS prevention programs is recognition that MSM exists in Uganda and that they are a high risk population group that have a right to education/prevention , the same as all citizens of Uganda who are at risk- read that as all citizens of Uganda (or any other country).
Research indicates that Ugandan people most at risk for HIV/AIDS - 42%- are married/cohabitating/widowed people. Now is that not a paradox?? People in places like New York fight to get married and people in Uganda are contracting HIV/AIDS through their primary partners./husbands.. what does that say about the marital vow of fidelity?? Kudos to Uganda and activists who ahve died and fought so hard for inclusion of MSM and transgender people in HIV/AIDS programs.
Look at the map of Uganda and know that in every country surrounding it, in fact every country in Africa bar South Africa, same sex loving /sexing or a combination of both is criminalised. Perhaps we want what we can't have as in the freedom to choose who we love and sex and perhaps this will sober us up to the joy of freedom we have to love and sex who we want in South Africa - in a sane , consensual and adult exchange.
I am re listening to Aretha singing "RESPECT."
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