Laughter is an emotion I have learned to cultivate in my later life. I learned it from observing couples break deadlocks through humour, sharing a funny memory, laughing at each other's silly but private jokes. Relationship theory recognises that humour in a couple is a portent of a good future together. Laughter breaks the ice. I spend a lot of time on thin ice but seldom use humour to break it- I use intellect, reasoning, thinking, discussion, negotiation.
Tonite I laughed. I went to Nic Rabinowitz's newest production On Broadway and I laughed. Such a good feeling. I laughed respectfully at his intelligence, at his ability to do what stand up comics and satirists of any good worth do- use the politics of the day to waken us to social injustice, social awareness and check in with our own levels of discomfort and dis-eases that we carry. I laughed at the different personas he so skillfully portrays, of course seeing myself and others in the stereotypes he creates.Go see this show - you will go home full of humour and hopefully slip between sheets and continue to play.
I want to talk about cruelty in relationships , not abuse, but the deliberate cruel words and actions we use against partners. All in an attempt to gain attention, make a point, be heard, have one's own pain be seen. Cruelty is deliberately withholding - money, love, sex, affection. I ask you to do a cruelty check with yourself. You can check your cruelty by looking at your partner's face. I shudder as I see people's faces crumble, tear, recoil at the cruel words that are thrown around a therapy room- which of course is a small window into a couple's intimate spaces.
No wonder I am learning the art of laughter!
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