We had all seen the Met production of Madama Buttefly a few weeks ago , we are all familiar with the beautiful music of Puccini. Somehow last night this opera touched us each in both a personal and political way.
It is a tragic story of love, sorrow and death. I was moved by these themes. we questioned afterwards : is this the natural expected lineal flow of love? Must it always end in sorrow and death of a kind? I see it as such. I see people falling in love, experiencing intense joy, then inevitable sorrow and finally the death. We over value love, we place so much expectation into the-other, into ourselves; we blend, mesh, intertwine in the lust of love. Then we feel strangled , cheat to escape, withdraw as a means of expressing powerlessness and sorrow instead of negotiating, discussing, focusing on core sorrows. And then we die- in so many different ways: we give up parts of ourselves in order to be admired and adored; we never discover aspects of who we are as they frighten our partner; we become overwhelmed in what we think love has to be. We die of pain and disappointment. Like Madama Butterfly we" kill" ourselves to maintain honour. This may be done by staying in an abusive relationship, swallowing cheating without being in therapy to learn how to manage it; staying despite feeling your sexuality die.
My less cynical friends reminded me that the other face of sorrow is joy, as mentioned in the opera. I can relate to this formula: love> joy> alive. I dedicate my life to understanding this formula and releasing its potential in couples. I see how transforming this healthy love can be. This is not love one has to "work" on. Its love that giggles over when gazing at each other after hours of love making; its the desire to make love for hours. And then some...
Madama Butterfly spends 3 years in vigil waiting for the return of her husband. I shed copious tears as she sang my favorite arias to express her sorrow. My tears were for the women all over the world who hold vigil for their men, waiting for them to return despite all signs that they will not return. I am unable to hold vigil for 1 hour 
why do men think they have the privilege of keeping women waiting? why do women wait? We are bred into subservience.. Oh Helen Zille what a missed opportunity for you to get women off their knees and marching, demanding their rights rather than keeping them on their knees in continued subservience to privileged men.
I am recovering from flu, extensive hours of book editing and have weeks of intense research ahead of me. I urge you to watch out for surprises from the shop - you are in for a treat! Have a week filled with love>joy>aliveness.
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