A woman , having read my last newsletter, asked me today if she can still masturbate even if she is not a mom - duh, well yes. Later this month I have got an exciting guest on my show on Goodhopefm. Jayme Waxman has written a great book on women and masturbation. She lives and works in New York city so we will talk to her in NYC. Send me your masturbation questions, curiosities , joys so I can share with Jayme.
Purpose of Mothers Day, I asked myself today. A ritual, I like rituals so this appeals to me. But imagine waiting for this 1 day of the year to be honoured and "spoilt" by one's children .. that is totally unappealing concept to me. Imagine a partner doing the breakfast in bed tradition on this 1 day of the year- kind of sad. I would wish partners honoured Moms today by getting kids cared for while they "did" mom in peace and privacy. Now for moms who regularly masturbate they would be more willing to be "done", knowing how to access their sexuality when with a partner. The non-masturbators have to get in 'the mood' , this takes her time, by then the kids are restless and she is distracted - fakers of the world declare yourselves!
Did you know that research shows that when people are having regular, satisfying partner sex they are more likely to increase their masturbation? Makes sense.. you're alive, turned on and the more sex you have the more you want. Women and men can easily loose themselves to celibacy when partnerless - no problem with this choice of course. This is when sex workers services are useful- but what do us poor gals do in drought times?? Random, nameless sex with strangers; ex's ; maybe's are one way women manage their sexuality when single - we women are socialized to making sex acceptable only within the confines of a 'relationship". So we construct these temporary relationships to authenticate our sexual needs. Masturbation is another alternative during dry spells.. and I say this with no judgement to women who choose relationship-less sex as a way of scratching their itch. As you well know my only concern is higher risk of STI/HIV/AIDS with multiple partners.
My Mother's Day was glorious - I have glorious children so I inverted the concept of Mother's Day - I sent them each a text message thanking them for being my children, for giving me the pleasure , pride and privilege of being their Mom. These glorious children streamed into my house throughout the day and gifted me with Indian food (my favourite food) , an oil burner ( Im told incense is carcinogenic so my green children bring their awareness into my life knowing how important the sensual pleasure of smell is to me) their stories of their lived lives , their presence, their laughter.. and many written words of love and appreciation of me as their Mom - my cup runneth over.
I hope you re think a Mother's role today, apply boundaries so your children know you remain sexual - even if you are single. Remember the flowers will wilt in the week so get yourself something that brings you sustainable pleasure - you got it- a sex toy!
Have a glorious week - and begin planning your time to visit us at SEXPO.
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