I have spent the last few weeks contemplating "sexual liberation".
It began with a presentation I did at Adventure Boot Camp. (www.adventurebootcamp.co.za) I spoke on sexual liberation and looked at whether women today are indeed liberated- more than their sistahs who began the women's movement in the '70's. And the answer is yes and no.
We have government policies that assure us of no discrimination based on gender and sexual orientation. We are assured safety through policies such as the Domestic Violence Act, reproductive freedom through the Termination of Pregnancy Act. We are free to vote and to move through our cities, townships and also to choose who we wish to marry.
Yet South African women have no real sexual liberation- not in their personal spaces nor in their relationships. On Tuesday 13t September another self identified lesbian's body was found - after a year of being missing - in a dustbin. The suspect was a yougn man with whom she grew up and he stabbed her as she woudl not have sex with him, as she liked girls.
As a therapist I listen well as a woman in my practice as a sex therapist , tells me she prays each day for her husband not to die- as she fears what will happen to her and her kids. She has a profession, she no longer works and is totally financially dependent on him. One woudl not call her sexaully liberated. She hsa to be taught her sexual rights, which will be found in her taking a course in financail literacy. One need not wonder why she has no sexual desire for him. Its hard to fuck your father.
Yesterday I was honoured to be a guest at the JD Baqua conference hosted by UCT. 80 students challenged themselves in learning leadership values. Young at average age 23 years, I admired their curious minds as they questioned their own sexual liberties. Their liberties, like so many of ours, are determined by culture, family voices, media, peers and religion. Each of these structures gives contradictory messages : media and peers are permissive, overly so, whilst most cultures, religions and families place restrictions on sexual liberties.
What guides your sexual liberties? Tell me . I welcome your thoughts and ideas.
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