You know the old saying :"threes a crowd." Consider the many different environments in which you find yourself in a threesome. It could be at work where you are the one left out of the twosome gathering at the water cooler. Or the secretary who feels like the third one out in a business where there are two partners. Threesomes always guarantees that someone is going to be left out, observing, waiting for attention from the other two. IT feels awful.

Why do I write about this?  Hanging out in New York I have more time to observe people, watch art movies and listen to new conversations with people who are new to me. I observe families. As a family therapist by training I automatically map families when I meet them and see the threesomes that are evident. Think about your own family: two kids gang up against the third kid; parents collude with a child leaving the other child/children feeling excluded and unhappy.

The obvious threesome is in a love triangle. Two people in a relationship, either living together or committed LATS (living apart together) , one of the partners meets an-other, and suddenly the third person is part of a threesome. Because relationships are so diverse today and people commute, it may not even feel like cheating. But guess who she/he gets to spend Valentine's Day with ?? Yep, not you but his significant other. Or primary significant other. I was disturbed by the movie "Up in the Air." I did not like the idealization of couplehood,  however  I liked the realness of how couples break up, hook up and have elegant affairs "in the air".

What kind of relationship are you in?? I plan to talk about this on my show on Friday 12th on Radio 702/Cape Talk - kinda lead up to Valentine's Day. Please join in on streaming audio : www.capetalk.co.za or www.radio702.co.za T

Internet dating is my topic for tomorrow's show on www.heart104.9fm. Stream in, phone or text us - again this is another form of relationship recognition and we need to discuss the merits, dangers , joys of it.

Tomorrow a snow storm is predicted for New York and surrounding areas. Schools are closed. I am so looking forward to seeing a real snow storm so will share with you after and as you in Africa swelter in the heat.

I met with someone the other night who told me that there was an exponential growth last year in USA-  recession year- in internet sales of cake mix - people stayed in and baked cakes as they could not afford to go out, or eat out. he suggested I add cake mix to my store so people will stay in, bake cakes and use sex toys- Americans

Watch out for our Valentine's Day teaser - of course I have made it irreverent and fun- just for you! More about VD later in the week - I have  "sex -in-the-city plans- do you??? !

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