There is a media frenzy over Tiger Woods. For the last two days, continuing into tomorrow, I have done hours of interviews for different media on a man I have never met, and will never meet. Its all rather bizarre. As a professional I find some of the media's expectations of me naive and fuelling sensation: do I think a man I have never met/professionally assessed can be a "sex addict"?
Rumour has it he is in Montrose, an exclusive addiction treatment centre, in Cape Town. To the best of my researched knowledge Montrose offers a traditional addiction treatment program with no specialised services to treat "obsessive compulsive sexual disorder". (OCSD)They offer "Sex addiction" treatment,thrown into their pot of what I am sure is overall excellent addiction treatment. So even if Tiger were to be a "sex addict" why is he there? Surely his carers would send him to a known facility in USA (few exist in the world) where the most qualified people in this field can be found to offer treatment for OCSD?
I find it all so disconcerting.. there are so many ugly angles to all of this : from his carers strategy (let's put Tiger into rehab so we "clean "him up for the public to accept him again); to the hungry media's need to pathologise this man ; and of course the flurry of bad press that "sex" once again gets. I would prefer a sensibility like : Has anyone inquired whether condoms were used consistently and correctly? Whether all these women were consenting? Has he (His women and wife) been for VCT (Volunteer counselling and testing)? What a wonderful opportunity to educate the public instead of getting stuck on same old record: all men are just animals/uncontrollable sexual desire; all men have large sexual appetites; powerful men need more sex/are entitled to more privileges including women; no woman can refuse a Tiger Woods; men with multiple partners are sex addicts.
Think of Africa - I wonder what the average number of sexual partners of any one man in Africa, in one year is. It has to be over 18 to give us the huge incidence of HIV in our continent. Do we have a country of sex addicts? Or merely men and women following culturally acceptable sexual behavior? Much of it non consensual and concurrent partners at one time.
I urge people to use this as a teachable moment - especially with your children. Get them to discuss their feelings about Tiger Woods, discuss your feelings as a parent. Share your values about this, how you as an adult/parent feel about monogamy, safer sex, fidelity; consensual sex; heroes and the media.
And Tiger if you are in this country do the work that Africa needs: become a role model for men, discuss your story so we get men to learn to share rather than hide behind skirts;create a legacy that you can leave behind, about how men manage difficulties , sexuality and relationships. And call Moreeda, my PA, if you want a private consult 
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