Vaginas age. Fact. Like any other muscles in the body, if you have not over the years religiously practiced good sexual health and exercised the muscles that surround the vagina, you are sure to have a somewhat loose vagina.
But there needs to be a concrete approach to management rather than silent embarrassment.
Large or so-called “loose” vaginas seem to be a silent shame gathering in the hearts of many South African women. In their hearts as it should definitely not be in their vaginas. I am so distressed about this and wonder is this a story men are telling women, as in “your vagina is too loose I cannot feel anything “ or is it a construct that women have developed for themselves. A construct that says a vagina should be tight, virgin tight , forever and ever. I am not even sure how these women define a “loose” large” vagina. How do they know this about a part of their anatomy they seldom visit? And even if a woman did get out her mirror and do a genital self examination, what is she looking at? What is she seeing since the vagina is merely a cavity held together by two walls, no big/small/any size hole. It is not a hole. Therefore she would not see any “looseness” or “largeness”. From the outside a woman would see folds of skin that protectively cover her vagina. The valid “looseness” happens as the muscle groups that surround the vagina loosen. This happens to every woman as she bears children, ages, lives. This group of muscles holds up the woman’s vagina, anus, ovaries and womb. Once these pelvic floor and vaginal/anal muscles loosen the woman will feel less sensations in her vagina with penetration, her orgasms will be less intense and she may not feel as sexually satisfied. In addition she may develop urinary incontinence as a result of the bladder not being held up that tightly and pressing on the vagina. Of course there are other medical reasons for incontinence such as menopause, result of urogenital cancer treatments .
I so understand that urinary urge or urinary stress causes women loss of sexual interest. This incontinence is a common symptom of ageing, especially if you are ageing without hormones Consider that up to 60% of “stress” incontinence leads to leakage during sexual activity/specifically penetration whilst “urge” incontinence creates leakage during and with orgasm. Not a pretty picture for a woman who is wanting to feel free, relaxed and orgasmic during her choice of sexual play.
Solutions: Muscles need to be exercised. Just as you do not carry shame around exercising all the other muscles in your body so do I want you to give up shame around exercising your vaginal muscles. And trust me these muscles can be restored – you first want to try self exercise and use of products and only after months of this regime should you consult a surgeon who will assess you as a good or not good candidate for surgical repair work.
Practice Kegel exercises every day, twice a day, with 20x each time contracting and releasing your pelvic floor and vaginal/anal muscles. To assist you buy yourself a product that can be inserted into the vagina and will make Kegels easier to do. I recommend SMARTBALLS (http://www.dreve.co.za/shop/dildos/vaginal/smartballs.html) or the gorgeous Amu jejou (http://www.dreve.co.za/shop/dildos/je-joue-ami.html). These are weighted balls covered in silicone and easy to insert into the vagina. The weights force the vaginal muscles to contract. And away you go! Use them daily and after 3 months you will see a major improvement. Use them as maintenance and prevention. Do not use them out of a place of shame. Rather be proud to invest in your sexual health.
