They are easily identifiable to the trained eye: expansive waists, even if they exercise regularly. That waist circumference suddenly seems to appear and despite all efforts at reducing fats in the diet and increasing exercise, the waist expansion remains.
This is a man, age 50plus, who may be beginning his pause-into male menopause.
Male menopause is not a myth. Its not about a time in your man’s life when he wants a fast car and a new young woman. If your man is leaning towards these indulgences, head towards a couple therapist as it is a sign that there is trouble in your man and thus your relationship is at risk.
On the contrary your menopausal man will be heavy in his waist and his heart: he is lethargic, displeased with life, has sleep disturbances and may even become depressed. Most notably he looses his desire for sex and develops erection problems ,which gets him to avoid being sexual with you. Depending on where you are in your menopausal process you may not notice these changes in your man immediately.
If you are perimenopausal and working out the wonderous physical, physiological and psychological changes in your own body, your needed self absorption may distract you from your man’s menopause. If you are a younger pre menopausal woman with an older man or a woman replete on hormones and riding the joy of menopause ,you’ll get that your man is somewhat different. You’ll miss feeling and seeing those reassuring early morning erections , those quickies before he enthusiastically jumped out of bed to enjoy the challenge of his day.
All male sexual function is dependant on testosterone. His libido, erections and orgasms depend on good levels of all male sex hormones, but testosterone is the king hormone. From age 45 years testosterone in men begin to drop. But now it becomes interesting as not all men will develop significant symptoms or even struggle with this change. It depends a lot on his life style and health.
This is the difference between male menopause and women’s transition. Women’s loss of estrogen is a universal feature with an expected outcome: the end of reproductive life. No amount of healthy life style, good genes or avoidance of chronic diseases influence this phase of life. But men can have a measure of control over their menopause. They can avoid developing late Onset Hypogonadism.
Men at risk to develop Late Onset Hypogonadism otherwise known as Testosterone Deficiency Syndrome are those who have certain chronic diseases and poor life style. Check if your man falls into this category of risk:
- smokes
- excessive alcohol
- sedentary lifestyle
- obesity
- high blood pressure
- high cholesterol
- high blood sugar
- diabetes
- cardio vascular disease
- erectile dysfunction
Certain medications which treat the above chronic diseases may contribute to lowering testosterone. And by the way if your man is over 45 and has a cluster of the above diseases he has what is known as Metabolic Syndrome. Hence the increased waist circumference, a sure sign of Metabolic Syndrome. When I chat to my single dating girlfriends the first thing I ask is the waist circumference of the new man. If expansive-no this is not cuddly in a man over 45! – I tell them to be prepared to meet with a limp penis in bed.
What does all of this mean for you as a woman? Research indicates that women will complain about her man’s poor erection, gently to her man and boldly to her house doctor. Research also tells us that men will finally consult a doctor after much nagging from his now impatient and not so gentle partner. Before he goes to his doctor, however, he has secretly tried a number of other options to get an erection-and libido. Often times they are quiet confused as to what is actually the problem: is it that he has no desire for sexual activity or is it that his penis is measuring in on a 2/3on a scale of measurement. (see below) Well actually its both. When your man wakes morning after morning with a soft 1/2penis measurement and it looks wrinkly and small, no way will he feel like “the man” who can “perform” . He has tried over-the-counter products that promise hard, large, can-go-all-night erections- to no avail. Many men visit men’s clinics which will offer the same standard treatment to every man as they do not bother to take a full medical, sex hormone ,social,relationship history resulting in continued erectile failure and low libido.
Your man’s heart lies in your hands, you his woman. When you notice the flagging libido and 2/3 erection, get over the “you don’t love me ”, “you have to be having an affair” talks and tears quickly. Get him to a physician immediately. An erection problem is your best indicator of a possible heart problem- serious. The physician will do a series of tests and you , the good wife, will now be informed sufficiently, to insist that your man’s sex hormones, specifically his testosterone levels , be tested.
Low testosterone can be easily replenished in men. There are a number of safe and effective approved drugs just for this purpose. However do not insist on your man getting pumped up with T until all the relevant blood tests and medical examinations indicate that he is a good candidate. And other diseases are ruled out.
As men age it is imperative to treat their metabolic syndrome .So get him on an exercise bike, climbing mountains, and eating food that will help control that expansive waist.
A note of extreme importance: You can get your man through menopause through solid medical intervention. However ask any man and he will tell you that your loving gaze, acknowledgement, appreciation and admiration of him will increase his heart rate and make his blood flow. It always comes down to good healthy relationships making our hearts heal and our genitals pound.
SIDE BAR:
WHAT IS YOUR ERECTION HARDNESS SCORE?
Please choose the number that best describes THE MOST FREQUENT CONDITION of your penis during sexual activity over the last four weeks:
1 = penis is large but not hard
2 = penis is hard but not hard enough for penetration
3 = penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard
4 =penis is completely hard and fully rigid.
