DR. EVE ANSWERS:
I want to thank you for sharing an honest account of the emotional and sexual consequences of cancer. On both you and your partner. And you shatter a myth that states that people with cancer never want to be sexual again. Of course each person's response to the illness, treatment and maintenance management is different. But you are sharing the flame that burns inside you- the sexual flame. You also highlight that some things never change - and may just get worse over the course of a chronic disease: your sexual desire was always higher than your husband's. With time, age, fear of loss, change of roles due to caretaking you (although it sounds as if you did not ask for a lot of caretaking
)people's sexuality change. Of course. Sexuality also looks adn feels different for both you and your husband: no breasts, need to change pattern of usual sexual repertoire. Plus factor in his possible sexual changes in addition to the emotional changes he has experienced, of course change will happen.
You sound pretty stuck- you want the closeness, you want to feel wanted, you are being "the girl "as you may well always have been - and nothing is happening. Well you must have learned lessons from this disease, right? One of the primary lessons of chronic illness is that nothing will ever be the same again. So I urge you to adapt to your reality - your husband's silence , surely you need to talk to this? Surely it is time for you to become proactive about your sexuality, your needs in general. His sexuality has changed. he remains silent. If you feel at a loss at how to have this conversation, initiate some intimacy I urge you to seek professional counselling. It is too precious to give up on your intimacy and sexuality.
DR. EVE ANSWERS:
