I watched people moving/ not moving when music was played - the ageing people move (even if only to clap their hands) and the children spontaneously move, jump, clap and sing. The rest sit frigid in their chairs or try and restrain their children from moving. Of course I generalize..
For an hour I sat in a circle with kids aged from 4 - 12 years old. Or rather they sat transfixed for an hour- all I did was listen, facilitate a process of listening and respecting and they did the rest - I wonder if parents are really aware of the rich thoughts , possible dialogue,within their children, if given a space to talk and be heard. I urge you to do this talking, and then much listening. My next circle was with 12-15 year old boys and girls. The space provided enough safety for a young woman of 11 to share how she was ganged up on and pushed to the ground in a mall by a group of men. The group took the discussion from there to rape, to men raping men, to anatomy and to prevention. I was reminded of the burden of being young and being a parent to young children. The responsibilities are huge on all sides. I urge you to buy them my book "DR. Eve's Sex Book - a guide for young people". We have just gone into second print and they are available in the web store.
The adults: my topic of discussion was to examine whether a traditional Jewish model of Sexuality and Relationships can work within modern day sexuality and relationships. I encourage you to see if your religious beliefs are compatible with modern day living and loving- it is indeed challenging. The older people in the audience were curious about modern day sexuality - its good to remember that generations ago oral sex was considered kinky and anal sex unthinkable. I welcomed their questions on masturbation and was delighted to give them a forum in which to consider how , if at all, there is a compatibility of religion and sexuality, albeit different sexuality , to younger days. For example one of the biblical injunctions of the old testament is that sex (penetration) has to happen at night/in the darkness. Now if you are ageing and needing extra stimulation, seeing your partner may be essential to you getting an erection. Also being sexual in the morning, in the light of early morning, is easier as this is when testosterone levels are highest. Thus erections stronger... what to do..
One of the principles of ageing well that is threaded throughout my book is that of Adaptation. This means being able to optimise, compensate, and make different selections. Of course if you are choosing to live within a religious framework you will consult with your religious leaders on how to adapt sexuality and ageing. Do tell me their responses
Have a healthy week, move and dance a lot- I intend to do just that.
Welcome to Woman's month - so many exciting events happening all over the country- I urge you to participate - and of course number one event in your diary is our Woman's Day event with the Cape Milner Hotel- 10th August - whoppee!
