Sibling Sexual Abuse: why is this hidden?

  It’s a game. “Doctor- Doctor”  Brother and sister or brother/brother , sister/sister hanging around at home, both are  curious human beings.  They compare genitals. They may even touch and feel to fully understand their uniqueness and differences. It’s innocent as they are both under the age of 7, close in  age and they are familiar with each other. There…

Read more

Bad Sex and the Orgasm Gap

Im trying to remember the first time I became aware of having Bad Sex. Was it the time I found myself lying underneath a man who was thrusting and thrusting .. and thrusting.. in silence as he was so focused on his own male pleasure and ego that his need  to delay  ejaculation overtook any consideration for the person he…

Read more

Relationship Trauma: Ways to correct the crazy

You simply cannot avoid relationship trauma. Perhaps you’re balking as you read the words “relationship” and “trauma ” in the same sentence.  – or sighing with relief as you resonate with this. After all relationships are supposed to be our ideal spiritual home, the place we strive towards as a sacred ambition . Relationships are supposed to bring us ultimate…

Read more

How Marijuana Effects your Sex Life

Confession : I speak from a place of complete ignorance. I have never had marijuana induced sex. I have tried. Believe me , I have tried. Back in the day , like pre September 2018 when marijuana became legalised  in South Africa, I attempted to smoke weed pre sex. But alas, since I have chosen to  completely avoid smoking nicotine…

Read more

Is your vibe killing your sex life?

It’s one of the great ironies of my world: vibrators are proven to be the most effective means for women  to achieve orgasm . Yet they are seen as less acceptable and desirable than other means of achieving orgasm . Perhaps it is the traditional and patriarchal belief that a man has to be the one who gives his woman…

Read more

The new bedfellows: porn and loneliness

When I watch porn  I have to consciously silence the critic in me and try be present with the purpose of porn :  entertainment to  arouse the many millions who  watch  it daily.  I acknowledge and even enjoy the healthy, recreational   benefits of porn that promotes a positive permissive environment and opportunities for couples to actually communicate their pleasures…

Read more

Money matters in Intimacy

There are two major , and overlapping, themes that emerge in my therapy room : sexuality and money. He will present with an erection difficulty or early ejaculation and she will express no desire for sexuality. Disagreements over money are one of the top causes of couple  fights and divorce. We feel shame, and this shame prevents us getting financially…

Read more