Are sexual boundaries necessary for teens? Yes but…

Millennials and their younger siblings are living paradoxes:  they are activists, (#Feesmustfall #MeToo)  inspire sociopolitical change, embrace diversity,  and  are tree hugging  ecologically minded. Yet their  vulnerabilities are well documented. They’re experiencing staggering increases in the rates of psychiatric disorders,  loneliness, suicides, and in the USA,  opioid deaths. Their primary form of sexual activity is porn and masturbation and they…

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Singilism and Matrimania : are you guilty of these?

I have ping ponged between being single, attached , single, attached. I have experienced the flood of social  invitations  from other couples when partnered and the social  isolation  from these same friends when single. I am way past wondering why partnered people truly believe that single people have no life and thus available for baby sitting , or  over time…

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How well do you know your partner?

Hello to you in 2019! I am well lit with the magic I am planning for myself in 2019. I invite you to join  me as I explore new ideas on healthy, tech intimacy driven  sexuality and relationships that are the future of sex. However before we move into the future we must linger in the present. Im inviting you…

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If You’re Distressed About Your Sexual Desire, This Could Be Why

“It’s appropriate and healthy to reconsider the role of sexual desire in your own life, value system and in relation to your partnerships.”   On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being the lowest and 5 the highest, rate how important your sexual desire is to you. Give a reason for this rating. No one is looking over…

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Radical Honesty — Is It Necessary To Talk About ‘Everything’?

There is a complicit, unspoken agreement between a couple not to talk about certain subjects. Like sexuality. “I’m not a cheater,” says the man on my couch. “I’m a responsible husband. I have a job, I parent, I don’t abuse my wife. We even have sex together. So I fulfil the basic requirements of marriage. Why do I have to…

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Some Healing Advice For Those Whose Childhood Trauma Shattered Their Sexuality And Intimacy

In 1998 the CDC uncovered a link between childhood trauma and chronic diseases people develop as adults as well as social and emotional problems. The man on my therapy couch tells me he “explodes” with his partner. He shamefully confesses verbally abusing her and cries as he tries to understand why he hurts the person most dear to him. The…

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Does Cyber-Infidelity Shield Your Polyamorous Need — Yes Or No?

Were I to ask you whether or not you’re cheating online as you sext, chat, flirt with a person who is not your partner, you’d probably say no. Were I to ask you whether or not you believe in cheating, you would answer “no”? I’m betting that even Cyril Ramaphosa would say he believes in the principle of fidelity and marital honesty.…

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Here’s What Consensual Sex Is And What It Isn’t In Five Scenarios

Invite your partner for a discussion on consent and make sure you’re both on the same page. The concept of “consent” is messy and confusing. And that’s when you’re sober and unaroused, now add sexual arousal, excitement and external stimulants and it’s a struggle to work through the politics of consent. Placing all of this within a South African context…

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