A responsible dater is someone who pre dating does a medical check up which includes a sexual health assessment. Imagine discovering you have HPV
It is rather shocking to get this information. Let me place it into perspective for you – at any given time 21% of South African women harbor HPV. In the United States it is estimated that 75%-80% of men and women will be infected with HPV in their lifetime. Knowing you are not alone may be small comfort to you. However I tell you these statistical facts so you can manage this situation smartly and clinically.
HPV is a particularly nasty STI to have as it causes cervical cancer. And cervical cancer is the leading cause of death by cancer in South Africa. More recently research indicates that men with HPV are at higher risk for anal and testicular cancers and women at higher risk for anal , vulva and vaginal cancer if HPV positive.
The concern you have is specific to your current situation- single and wanting to meet a man. To tell or not to tell… how to practice safer sex… how not to infect a new partner… I guess are some questions going around in your head.
AS you realize one can have HPV with no symptoms – and in fact some people never develop symptoms (depending on the strain of HPV and the person’s own unique immune system) So you could get away with never telling- until you develop a sudden outbreak of warts – or he does. And you may still be fooling around – HPV can be transmitted without penetration. If you are infectious , no symptoms visible, no warts, you may well pass it on to him/her.
I believe it is ethically correct to disclose to a possible sexual partner so he can make the choice for himself. He will need to get tested – this is your right to insist upon once the dating gets kinda serious, before the sexiness gets naked. He can then never blame you if he chooses to be sexual with you, knowing he is HPV negative at the outset.
Using condoms is a non negotiable even though condoms offer more rather than no protection- it cannot protect you fully from HPV as sites of warts or shedding can be around vulva lips, anus, upper thighs. And of course when you have an outbreak clothes on sex is the way to go.
However most importantly for you- I urge you to get vaccinated against further strains of HPV which will protect you from cervical cancer and other strains of HPV. Please ask your Health Care Provider all about HPV and the 2 vaccinations on the market and do not hesitate to get this done now.
Let this not be the reason to stop being in a loving and sexual relationship.
