I received this letter from a woman feeling disappointed in dating.

I am at the point where I am considering that instead of a man, I should cater to my needs in another manner.  A masseuse for touch, a dog to love me, a vibrator for sex and a best friend for companionship. Do I need to lower my standards or simply give up?

I answered her ...

You are one disappointed woman.

I never think it possible or advisable to “lower standards”. I do think as we age we need to examine expectations and adjust them according to who we are now. Perhaps you need to go through a process of self evaluation and write down all the qualities you admire in yourself, passions that fill your heart and body, and your level of engagement with these passions.

For example, you may be one of these women who is simply waiting for a man to touch you(touch yourself), love you unconditionally (do you love yourself unconditionally?) sex you( you should have a toy box of toys – not as a substitute for a man but as a box of self exploration and pleasure) and be your friend (your life should primarily be filled with good friends)

When a man meets you he should meet a self fulfilled woman with a space in her life for a relationship with a man – you should already have a number of fulfilling relationships- you want one with a man to add to your already fulfilled life.

Unfortunately as one ages the choice becomes smaller for both men and women. And also one becomes sufficiently fulfilled in your life that you have carefully constructed that you may be intolerant of a man who has not done his own work.

Go to weddings and funerals as this is proven the best place to meet single people.