My husband and I have been married for 20 years and our sex life average. About three months ago while we were having sex he asked me to play out his fantasy...said he would like to see another man f*** me. I think he is serious. He wants to invite his good friend over for drinks so I could seduce him. He said that he has this fantasy of watching another man slide his big cock into my vagina. I keep telling him that I would do anything to make him happy but this makes me a little uncomfortable. I keep telling him that I don't need or want anyone else, but he is insistent...Then he gave me a detailed description of his friend’s uncircumcised cock and what he was going to do to me. He wants to watch while I enjoy myself... says he wants to see my face and how my body responds from another point of view. I do want to please my husband and spice up our sex life but..I'm confused...if I did agree to this, would I respect myself, would my husband respect me later?

Any advice would be appreciated, especially if you are someone who has gone through with it with positive outcome

Hi there Needing
I have been watching this thread with interest and must say I am surprised at the lack of response from the other forum members – it must be a subject of interest looking at the amount of views in the short time it has been posted.
While I can’t offer any advice on your question I would like to perhaps offer a view from a husband’s perspective that would like to see my wife having sex with another guy.
I am 46 years old (wife 44) and have been married (19 years) with 3 children – I am just Joe average in all departments and work fairly long hours. Both the wife and I come from fairly conservative families and as a result our sex life was and still is and what I thought to be fair to average with sex 2-3 times a month when the kids are out the way. The wife has never been into sex and sees it as something that needs to be done to keep a harmonious marriage. Any suggestion in the past of anything apart from the normal missionary position has normally met with raised eyebrows. From my side it never was really a problem as I have been pretty much involved in my work.
About 3 years ago while in the golf club change room I overheard two guys chatting quietly about how the one had done the others wife while he watched- wow these guys had to be joking – I could not believe that people actually did stuff like that!!! My exposure to porn and the like has been pretty much limited to what one sees in the movies and the odd emails that mates have sent and to be honest I have never had any interest it looking at it. But this for some reason this really blew my mind away and I could not stop thinking about it, not only that I found the thought of it extremely arousing. Now at the same time I also found to be quite disturbing as I thought that I must be some sort of pervert that needed help. So before rushing off to the nearest therapist I “Googled the subject” and hey guess what I am not the only guy out here who has had these thoughts – not only that, from what I have seen, there are those that have not only thought about it but have also carried through with the idea as well.
The thought of some guy doing the wife and with her really enjoying it while I watch gets me hard and arouse in no time at all. I have no interest in joining in but to sit back in a chair and just watch her let go and indulge herself to the fullest. Now why this gets me going??? I have no idea – it is really out there from anything that I have thought of doing sexually. I have spent many hours trying to rationalize it but have yet to come up with a definitive answer to why I find it so arousing.
I know that I could never approach the wife about it so in my case it will have to remain just a thought that I can use to enhance on own sexual pleasure.
Regards
The Watcher

Thank you to the brave man who took the time to be honest, deeply transparent , in his reply. I think it is quite fabulous when your sexuality is shaken up by exposure to a new sexuality. But of course it can be disturbing and even intrusive. Like all sexual activity it has to be well managed and contained.

This is by no means a novel arousal fantasy/activity. Do not confuse it with not loving your wife. Its just your new thing, your awakening to a possibility that has aroused you.

Like all alternative sexual activities (anything out of the vanilla box) need careful management. No coercion can ever be used, let it remain your masturbatory fantasy. And just like your sexuality is growing so can your wife's - imagine if you bring in a new idea whilst making love to her- she may slap you silly for suggesting something so gross or she may have an instant orgasm

I welcome other comments

I have just seen this post on the forum and would like to offer my view point from a wife who has been through and still does indulge her husband in this form of sexually pleasure.

I am going on 47 now and my husband is a bit older at 53. We have enjoyed a good sexual relationship and have over the years moved from vanilla sex (as Dr Eve put it), to trying different things –ie toys – a bit of BDSM – watching porn – sexy underwear – even did a nude beach many years back on a trip to Europe. (Pity there are no nude beaches as such in SA as it was a great experience and would like to do it again). The subject of threesomes (only 2x girls 1 x guy for some reason) as had come up on the odd occasion but never went any further as I personally have no interest in having sex with another woman.
The first time the subject of Mike watching me have sex with someone else was about 2 years ago after watching a movie which I am sure was called Wild Orchid. When he brought the up the subject during the movie I will say I was very upset – my immediate thought was that he was working up to say that seeing I had sex with another guy then he could have sex with another woman. I think I did not speak to him for 2 day afterwards. Anyway to cut a long story short we at some point later sat down a discussed the whole thing at length. Mike was not interested in having sex with any other woman but like Sean in the earlier post was only interested in watching me expand my sexual experience. We discussed the “would he respect after” etc and after much deliberation and thought I was convinced that Mike was really only interested in seeing me enjoy myself sexually and from how sexually aroused he got just from talking about it I agreed to try it.

We set up the encounter with ground rules in place so that I could stop the proceeding at anytime. Mike had arranged the other guy and I had opted to be blindfolded for the encounter. (And yes before I get 100’s of messages about safety etc – yes we did do checking – practise safe sex etc).

Do be honest I very nearly pulled out at the last second but to see how excited Mike was I went through with it. How did it go? Well it was good in parts and not so good other parts – A lot of the not so good parts I would put down to my nervousness of not knowing what to expect and maybe to age of the guy. Mike was to say ecstatic and said it was the best thing ever to watch me.

We sat and discussed how I felt about it afterwards and would I consider doing it again – I told Mike that I would need a bit of time to go through how I felt about the whole thing. He did not push me but I could sense that he was very keen to have another go. After about a month I told him that I would but I would chose the guy this time round. Being in a University town finding what I wanted to try, was not difficult – “a toy boy” ( well a young 19-20 year old at least with a hairy chest – Mike is as smooth as a baby’s bum)

The second time around!!!! – incredible is the best description I can give – Knowing what to expect this time around and that he was only too happy to try and satisfy me and being young was able to recover quickly and do it my way when I showed him how.

That was nearly two years ago and we have since included as part our regular sexual activities at least once month if possible. We have 3 regular young men that I can choose from depending on what sort of sex I am in the mood for – be it - oral – size or massage skills.

These encounters for me are pure recreational sex nothing more – one day a month where I can let my hair down and enjoy sex for just that sex no questions asked....

AS for Mike - He will always be my husband / lover who I will share my true sexual intimacy with.
Penny

Hi

Many thanks to those who have taken the time to respond to my question. After reading Sean's response I too “Googled” the subject and also found that it seems to be a fantasy that a many husbands seem to think about!! It has been an interesting exercise as it has open my eyes to a whole world of sexual activities that I had no idea existed or were practiced.

Based on the research that I have done and the feedback from Penny and Sean I feel that I could possibly grant my husband’s wish but only after we have had a good heart to heart discussion about it and setting the ground rules as Penny said.

The thought of how I would go about seducing him is quite exciting in its self and even if I don’t go through with it we can use the idea for some great sexual foreplay. I am lucky in the sense that my husband’s friend is good looking and to be honest if I am going to have sex with someone else I would not mind if it was him.

Needing

This may be a bit late for you to make a decision, but I would like to share my experience!

My husband was also keen to watch me have sex with another man, which I was always against. With ongoing gentle pursuasion and much discussion I eventually agreed, purely for the experience - as I had only ever had sex with him - and as a 50th birthday present. He also promised that if I did not like it at any stage I could pull out and that would be the end of it, as that was always the ultimate goal in his/our 'sexual adventure'.

We started with small steps with the guy he found (which was on the internet), like a general massage, then erotic massage, followed by intercourse, etc. He also videoed the sessions. Initially I was blindfolded, but later wanted to know what he looked like, so we then did this 'face to face'. Unfortunately the voice did not match the face and I was quite repulsed, which did nothing to help me 'enjoy' it - he was also bearded and a smoker which made it even worse for me.

Despite me saying 'never again', my husband then started saying I should choose a different person (which I do NOT want to do) and he became really upset and angry with me for not wanting to continue with this. I feel I was lied to, because if he was sincere in saying I could stop at any point or if he loved me as I know and expect a husband should, then he would have respected my wishes and not started treating me with indifference and hatred when I no longer wished to pusue this.

I would advise you to think very carefully before you do it! Don't do it if you have any doubts - I thought everything would be fine once I had done it, but was sadly mistaken and am now suffering the consequences.