Hi DR,I am a married male and dont know if it is normal for a straight male to be in to heel shoes and ladies clothing. I have heel shoes and wear my wifes underwear when ever she is at work. Im not into guys but have a really good sex life with my wife. But wearing heel shoes really gets me excited,and would like to go out in public wearing them. I know in SA it does not happen and I read alot about it on the net and find that it is normal and wifes oversea's except there husbands in heel shoes and ladies underwear.tanx

Dr. Eve Answers:

Trust me you are not the only self identified SA male who likes to dress up as a woman- and get sexually aroused by this process. And all over the world many wives struggle to understand this so do not be betrayed by the Internet which may be leading you to think SA is behind times. It is an incredibly challenging situaiton ofr both you and your wife . I understand that for you it feels pretty "normal" as I guessed when you are dressed up you feel happiest, most alive - and sexy. But your wife is likely to be confused by this and need support and counseling to understand what's up with you.

In clinical terms you would refer to yourself as "gender variant" or more specifically as "transvestite" and perhaps even "transvestic fetish" which measn you get highly sexually aroused when wearign women's clothing. This is not  a disease merely an alternative manner of beign sexually aroused. However we live in a sexually conservative society and I woudl not want you hurt by an ignorant society who knows about your cross dressing or by your family.

So best to get professional counsellign for yourself - and your wife once you are ready to disclose . This is who you are so find support to be who you uniquely are.

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