I have been married for 4 years to a man who has NO sex drive at all. He is not bothered in the slightest to have sex and once a month is alot. I have bought him the libido enhancers, books, movies..... I am now at a cross roads. I have always been incredibly sexual and am beginning to resent him. Feeling unwanted and ugly also.
Dr. Eve Answers:
It shearbraking for you as a woman to feel sexually rejected. And I deliberately say "as a woman".. even the strongest feminist has been raised on the belief that men want women for sex. Even though we can reject that as being sexist, denigrating to women, it is deeply ingrained in women:our value lies in us as sexual objects to men. So when a man does not desire us we feel a deep wound,
Hence the feeling of being ugly- unfortunately your sense of attractiveness is linked to your husband's level of desire for you.
I urge you to step aside from this erroneous way of thinking. I urge you to get your husband clinically assessed- medically and sexually. There are many reasons men loose interest or generally have a low desire for sex with a partner. reasons range from general low desire, low testosterone, an underlying illness, medications, lack of attraction to you, being int he closet, or a relationship distress with you that disallows hime to be sexual. Buying books. etc will further deter him. and create an expectation in you which will further lower your self esteem. Please get some professional help as this is too much for you to manage alone.
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