Dr Eve | Belted my Son until his body was Blue | Dear Dr. Eve | learn

I have an 8year old son, we were at a friends house yesterday and they have a 5 year old son these boys always play together but yesterday they closed the room door and were playing so I was a bit suspicious to why the door is closed so I went to check what the boys were up to, when I opened the door both the boys pants were down and the 5 year old was standing behind my son playing with his private part on my son , I was horrified and immediately took my son home and his dad and I belted him till his body was blue, please help me with some advice Dr Eve cause right now I feel like my whole world has just collapsed , I know that the 5 year olds parents are also horrified with my son especially him been the older one how do we face these people again.

Dr. Eve Replies:

My immediate response to your mail that just arrived in my inbox, is to call in Child Protection Services. You know I get that many parents like you feel immense fear around sexuality and children. I know you feel embarrassed about your friends and facing them again. But belting your child "until his body was blue" is called Child Abuse. No matter what the reason is it is a pure form of Child Abuse. I also have to imagine that this is the form of punishment you generally use on your child/children. I am horrified and deeply distressed about this.

I am too distracted by the real issue of child abuse to actually give you an intelligent answer as to the normalcy of these two boys behaviour - 2 boys innocently exploring each other's bodies . Trust me your son will have sexual scars from your abusive response - besides general scars from childhood abuse suffered at the hands of you and your husband.

I am insulted by the fact that you provided me with your name and contact number - I guess you have no sense of shame or wrongfulness of this kind of punishment on a child .I am angry and thus not practising compassion towards you now at all - perhaps you really do not know that beating a child until his body is blue is a criminal act. I do not plan to call you - I ask you to call me first so we can discuss and take it further. I dare not leave your child so at risk in his own family.

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Comments (5)

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I cant beleive you would beat your son black and blue..what type of parents are you.Its people like you that make this world totally messed.I hope your son has been taken away from you.

stacey , March 25, 2010

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"beat your son black and blue" now that is the ignorant way to handle things. Normal people with some degree of understanding and intelligence would have first tried to understand that behavior and whether it is point of concern before resorting to violence. Furthermore I do feel you have opened a can of worms because that kind of trauma is going to affect your son in ways you cannot fathom now but with time the underlying issues you have caused will arise. MARK MY WORDS!!!

aasiyah , March 25, 2010

So sorry!

It breaks my heart to think what this woman has done to her son...! It is unbelievable.

Julia , April 02, 2010

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i felt my body shattering in fear at what you did.you are far from being called a parent!you can go to jail for that you know? you need to be a parent to your boy, not a monster he sees you to be! its good you found them,you had to talk to him about it.help him to understand his changing body! and then? after beating him like that,did you get solution? shame on you! and actually describing that you beat him till his body was blue? you have got some nerve!

Vicky , April 26, 2010

Like Your Son

I am a heterosexual man, who like your son (when I was 7), I oonce also played sexual "games" with friends...but only because an older boy once tried to penetrate me while on a play day at a friends house. I didn't ask for this older boy to do what he did, but it happened, and it left me extremely confused and ashamed for many years (untill my 20's when I told my parent about it, just to releive myself of the burden of guilt). Perhaps something abusive has happened to your son, which brought on this behaviour, and like I once did, he is feeling extremely confused and ashamed...and your response is to beat him and make him feel more confused and ashamed, just to justify your selvish feelings of embarrasment of what other people think?!?!? You are the ones who need help, and your sone needs help dealing with irresponsible selfish parents, not with his sexuality!

Like your son , July 27, 2010