I am one year clear from early breast cancer (triple negative) which involved surgery,(lumpectopmy) chemo and radiation. A nightmare to say the least!! Am well one year later. Turned 50 in June. Now have chemo induced menopause. I am not on any medication as I was triple negative (oestrogen, progesterone and her2 negative)I have low interest in sex with a partner who adores me and my beautiful body, and has a high interest in sex!!  Dry vagina and penetration hurts. Takes longer to reach orgasm, even with masturbation. Do you have any tips? Oncologist is not helpful, the breast surgeon recommended using replese.

Dr. Eve Answers:

What a marvellous celebration of life - getting yourself sexual again! I work with cance with passion as it crosses over into the two areas of our life in which we feel most alive and most afraid - sex and the prospect of death. So when I receive  mail such as yours I feel your aliveness and I feel in-joy for you - and of course your partner.

So dry vagina and painful penetration, low desire and slower response to orgasm are what women in recovery can expect. No estrogen brings this on and impact of chemo and radiation further impacts negatively on your sexuality.

It is time to replenish your vagina and jump start your sensations of orgasm. Your gynae recommended REPLENS which is a vaginal moisturizer. Completley safe as it has no hormones and will do its job which is to  give you good build up of lining for your vagina. Your vagina no longer has this lining which makes it thin and thus pains with penetration. However my first choice with you would be  a local estrogen vaginal replacer, inserted directly into your vagina. There is excellent research showing the safety and efficacy of this with breast cancer survivors- the estrogn remains local in the vagina and does not spread to any other part of the body.

However your oncologist has to feel safe with this as does your gynae so I urge you to consult with them about this. If they refuse this then start on REPLENS. It is available at all local pharmacies. Ask your gynae how to use it- usually it is daily for about 3 weeks then twice a week for ever.

In addition you need to use a silicone lubricant - this will help ease the actual penetration and feel silky and gorgeous for both you and your husband. See the new range of KY JELLY I have in the store or get a bottle of PJUR.

Add to this a sex toy, a clitoral sex toy which will give you added sensations you seek. i recommend MYSTIC WAND as it is powerful and the many women in remission or on maintenance therapy find it works real well. If too expensive tyr the RO120 - also strong clitoral vibrator. And the WE VIBE II is excellent alone and with your partner.

I hope you follow through on soem of this as it will improve your overall quality of life as you begin to feel sexy again.

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