Dr Eve | Can't forget my Ex-Boyfriend! | Dear Dr. Eve | learn

I was dating a guy of 24 and I'm 26. We loved each other a lot but people started to complain about our relationship including his family. They talked about age and our jobs.

I am a teacher, he is a shop assistance. Besides those issues, the other problem was that he used to go out a lot with friends and when I would complain, then he said I was too demanding.

We have since stopped seeing each and I now have a new boyfriend, He is 29 and has a decent job but I still love my former boyfriend and can't stop thinking about him. What can do I do?

Dr Eve Answers

There will always be problems in relationships, and each relationship has problems that are unique to them. Yours was about family inteference or should I say, your inability to let go of your family's influence. Maybe you allowed your family to influence as deep down you had concerns that you knew the difference between the 2 of you would be too big to overcome.

And then your own problem with him disrespecting your wishes and continuing behavior that upset you - this is more of a problem I believe, than age and status.

If your man cannot respect yuor feelings and make some kind of agreement that will please both of you then you know this will happen with all issues in the relationship.

It is never easy to forget old relationships- we shouldn't try to forget. We become attached and then when the relationshp is over we tend to romanticize how wonderful it was.

Maybe you attached to a new man too quickly, which does not give you enough time to think and process what happened and to let go of your first relationship.

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Mrs

Hi i can relate to the fact that i also think about my exb.we were each others first everything. At the age of 18 i got married to a man 26.i never told my ex but he found out. It was a long story.but the fact is our break up was never a real breakup.went to another country for 3yrs and come back out of nowhere we met i couldnot believe my feelings.the spark his eyes but i just had to hide my feelings we did not talk much but i think i need to talk to him but what if i surrender myself and he does not feel the same.advice pls.

Florah , January 03, 2011