Im a 24year old newly married woman.Got married a virgin and on my first day of initiation into what marriage is about  I did not bleed.I felt pain which  went on for almost 2months and my sister told me I will feel pleasure  when I get used to having a man inside me.Up to now I don't enjoy sex. He loves it.I feel like i do it for him to enjoy while I envy  him. Am I crippled down there . Please save my marraige

Dr. Eve Replies:

What an awful way to begin married life, such a disappointment for you that there is no moonbeams and roses, just pain. There is no need to worry about no bleeding on breaking your virginity. Commonly women do not bleed. Of course one expects to feel some pain with the beginning of penetration but as your sister correctly states, once the vagina gets used to having a penis inside it, the muscles stretch easier with each penetration. And there should be no pain at all. Pleasure is different from no pain, however. Of course you cannot experience pleasure if there is pain as eventually you begin to dread sex as you know it means pain. Lets consider pleasure: women have few nerve endings inside their vaginas so penetration alone seldom brings women orgasms. Clitoral stimulation is needed for real pleasure to happen. You need to be slowing your husband down. Men are happy to penetrate as this gives them wonderful sensations - but he needs to spend considerable time pleasuring you through whatever means work for you. I encourage you to buy my book PILLOWBOOK and empower yourself through knowledge. This will give you confidence to teach your man about your pleasure. Stop penetration as it is happening  now as your pain will stay the same. And you will end up with a sexual dysfunction. Encourage lots of sexual play and focus on knowing each other's bodies for now.

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