Been dating the love of my life for 10 yrs, engaged last year... he & I got heavily involved in substance abuse & alcohol, he cleaned up his act & I did it 1 last time - which landed me into trouble...
1 stupid night... partying went to far got so wasted & high that I gave another guy a hand job (as a dare... at the time didn't realise the seriousness of this) told my man the truth... feel he had to know, needed to be honest with him - he has subsequintly moved out, we are on speaking terms (small talk), hasn't said anything about our relationship...
I don't want him to give up on me, is it wrong for me to ask for a second chance, to know where I stand with him, I take responsibility for my actions, and I have started re-habilition been clean & sober for 9 weeks now (early days & baby steps - I know). I don't want to loose him, I realise I hurt him (his manhood) don't know what came over me... Please if you could give me advise, at my witts end and don't know what to do to salvage what love he has left for me.
Dr. Eve answers
I ache for your pain, for actions I am sure you revisit in your head a thousand plus times and wish you could recall. This is the nature of addiction – you know this – it is the perpetual beast that you will live the rest of your life battling.
I am pleased you are taking responsibility and doing the rehabilitation thing. Give your guy time. Trust is gone, so he is going to be looking at you for a long time, waiting for you to relapse.
I wish so much that you allow yourself to focus on your own recovery and less time on recovering the relationship. You really need to focus on yourself now.
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