I have been married for 7 years now and am very happy. My husband came to me and said he wants to do ballet, and apparently he's always wanted to. I have to admit that he's always taken me to ballet although I never asked him to, and I just thought he liked watching ballet!
My problem is not that he wants to do ballet (although he is 32 years old now!), because I would support him in anything he wants to do. He says that he has always wanted to do it and I must say the few times I went watching him do a class, he was really impressive. He seems to have a natural knack for it and his ballet teacher also says so. He also says he does not have dreams of becoming a professional dancer, but he truly enjoys the classes and says that even if he came nowhere he would still want to do it. Now for my problem!
My problem is the "bulge" in the tights. He is "VERY" well endowed. After seeing many male ballet dancers in my time going to ballets with him, he is HUGE and very visible from all angles. It can not be missed. (ps. he wears a capezio professional dancebelt under his tights and wears 2 pairs of tights. He also tried wearing a padded dancebelt like some dancers do but "it" looked even bigger) As he has been a rugby player since I've known him, he has always been in excellent shape and has a truly amazing athletic physique (all my grilfriends say so). The thing is that in rugby and normal life "that" part of a man is not all that visible! The ballet tights on the other hand pronounce "everything" and leaves "nothing" to be guessed about. When I look at him dance I can not tear my eyes from "it" and wonder what my grilfriends would say if they saw him like this! Some of the women already commented on it at the class to me and I am afraid of comments coming from close friends and family! What do women in general think of VERY well-endowed male ballet dancers? Would it be appreciated by those that frequent ballet shows? What would non-ballet goers think? Is it just one of those things that is accepted and understood that it cannot be prevented, or should he try and flatten it or should I ask him not to do ballet?
PS: In the bedroom I am in heaven with his huge size and just looking at it is an unbelievable turn-on, but outside......
I do not want to be embarrassed for his sake since I love him to death. Is this a problem, or am I making too much of something small (no pun intended)?
How do I handle this in my head?
Dr. Eve answers
Clearly your man is comfortable with his body, exposing and exhibiting it. And accepting one’s partner’s choices means finding a way to make peace with the unexpected — like a ballet bulge! As long as you do not feel threatened that it will negatively impact on your relationship , that you can manage the stares of others and know its coming home to you , that he is not taking it elsewhere, it really is out of your control — the size of the bulge I mean!
It appears that reassurance from your side is necessary... It is so vital to keep the foundation of love and trust, respect and honesty intact in your relationship. Consider for yourself what really is making you anxious about the “bulge” And talk about that rather than place more focus on the bulge!
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