I am a young man of 28 years . For the past 3 years I have been trying to find love from various deaf dating sites from the internet, but since then I have not yet found what I am looking for. All those sites show people from abroad while I am looking for someone from here at home. I am not deaf but I am interested in having a relationship with a deaf person, because all my relationships with hearing people are a flop. I know of a school for deaf children in Thaba Nchu, but the problem is how do I get there because it is a boarding school. So I am turning to you trusting and believing that you will help me. Please help!
Dr. Eve Replies:
I would love to get into your head to understand how you came up with the idea that dating deaf people will give you a higher rate of success of getting a relationship.
Do you believe that deaf people are disbaled hence less fussy? Or maybe you think that deaf people are easier to seduce. Overall whatever your beliefs, your attitude is discrimatory and unacceptable in South Africa which recognises that no one discriminate against disabled people.
You have gone to lots of trouble in your quest to seek out a person who cannot hear you, who you may believe will give you a more powerful position in a relationship. So kindly I undertsand that you have lost courage to simply find a person. You are seeking a disability right now- not a person. I don't want to beleive that you are such an insensitive person so I rather think of you as a person who has been badly hurt, has low self esteem and are now going to desperate measures to seek out a partner.
I worry that you are looking for deaf school children -these children in boarding school are more vulnerable. I urge you to leave them alone. I urge you to seek out professional counselling so you can gain self esteem and social/sexual skills to enable you to confidently date women. Irrespective of their ability or disability.
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