Dear Dr Eve I am a girl and I'm 15years old. The problem is that when me and my partner have sex is that I'm so shy in bed. I would like to know what makes me to be shy in bed.
Dr. Eve Replies:
Im listening to Madona sing "Do you know what it feels like for a girl in this world?" It's a song that talks about the difficulties girls have compared to boys, simply because the world is unkind and demanding of girls which leaves girls of 15, girls like you, pretty confused in general, and commonly sexually confused.
At 15 most girls are trying to be comfortable within their own skin, trying to find a place for themselves in their families, their peers and of course , in their sexuality and relaitonships too.I think its pretty courageous of you to be doing what you are doing: having underage sex with someone, carrying the contraceptive responsibility as well as prevention awareness not to become infected. I wonder why you choose this burden for yourself.
Indeed I understand that it feel soo good to have sex, to be admired, desired by someone. So I get that you want to have sex. I wonder how prepared you are emotionally for what having sex with someone brings up- like comittment, trust, honesty and complete openness, including sexual openness.
You wonder why you are shy.. have you been watching porn/youtube of girls having sex ? Perhaps these girls , age 15, look comfortable so you want this too.
In my fantasy I wish you would pull up your knickers, kick out your partner and creep into bed alone, with a hot water bottle. I wish you to stand in front of your mirror every day and self admire,I wish you to masturbate and get real comfortable and pleasured with your own sexuality. I wish you to keep your youth a sacred time for yourself , for preparation for the time when you feel you can lay back, kick off your heels. strip off your clothes and as a confident sexual woman, invite whom so ever you want into your bed. Until then allow your shyness to guide you into a place that feels safer sexually for you.
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