I'm a woman of 28yrs. I've been with my partner(35) for 9yrs. Our relationship has never been good as he fathered 3 kids outside.
I just don't have a trust for him anymore but I love him. We have a 5yr old daughter who adores him deeply. The problem is I dont enjoy sex with him anymore. I spend most of my time alone indoors. I dont have friends.
I like to watch porn movies before bed and before I wake up when he is not around.I enjoy it I get wet and fantasise about him. But when he's around I just get dry no matter what. I only enjoy sex when he is about to ejaculate. It hurts having sex with him as at the end my vigina gets torn coz of the dryness. The other thing is we dont do oral sex. He just puts his penis in . He says we are old for that. Sometimes when I want sex his penis wont erect. What's wrong with us? Are we used to each other?
Dr. Eve Answers:
How fascinating.. I am always fascinated by love - how we fall into it, sustain it, fall out of it. Am presently reading a book by Dr. David Schnarch called "Intimacy and Desire"(www.passionatemarriage.com) In all good sense you should be OUT of love with this man, but you claim you are IN love with him. Sensibly when a man betrays a woman, puts her sexual health at risk is sexually disrespectful towards her, as he does not bother to her and allows himself to penetrate into her unaroused vagina, then sensibly one would not love such a man. Yet you do- and many women reading this recognise they too love such men and are in unhealthy reslationships.
The fact that you seek sex elsewhere- as on the internet and even with him -is evidence that you have a healthy sexual drive, that you seek out sexual release, arousal. Your heart's betrayal is reflected in your unaroused vagina.
I feel more concerned about your isolation. Are you depressed? Lonely? How come you are not working/have a life of your own? I would begin addressing these issues as a relationship cannot save you from yourself. Consult FAMSA and begin to live . This is the only way to discover more about your love relationship. Right now you are stuck- get unstuck by giving attnetion to yourself first and foremost.
Show/Hide comment form
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
