Hi Dr. Eve
Im happily married (just over 2 years now), have a 17 month old baby girl and I have lost my sex drive completely.
I have always had a very good and high sex drive, so much so that hubby had to decline me and for a male its rather strange to say no to sex.
Im not in the mood, always making excuses to my hubby that im tired or going to bed early ços i get up at 4:30am to go to gym. Im not attracted to anyone else at all but because im feeling like this it causes me to not feel attracted to him either. I have a huge issue with the way i look now since the birth of my daughter. I gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy so i have very ugly stretch scars and still a bit of a tummy too. Also had my appendix out so another scar to add insult to injury. It really makes me feel unattractive as the 2 cuts make 2 bulges and stretchmarks are unsightly too.
I need to know what you can advise me of what I can do from my side to up my libido. Do you sell something at all or products etc.
Dr Eve Answers
Your letter beautifully and sadly reflects the large, impressive influence a woman's relationship to her body has on her sexuality. It shows so well how when a woman feels negative about her body no way can she feel sexy.
You are sadly allowing your negative body image to control your sexuality, to diminish possibilities of pleasure-because of 2 scars!! Do you believe those 2 scars deserve so much power in your life, deserve to influence you as much as you allow them to?? I am sure that you are a healthy woman and thus no medication is necessary to get you feeling sexy.
You have lost attraction for yourself and only when you deliberately gain that back will you look around like the horny woman you used to be and search out for your partner. Start liking your body, and I'm all for a healthy lifestyle but gym at 4.30!!- Replace that with a feisty love making session.
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