Hi Dr,
Hi there, im a 19 year old female, me & my boydfreind have been going ou for 2 yrs 4 mnths, the relationship went well at first,but since he has the mxit service we argue non - stop, he never chats infront of me he continually goes to the toilet n he is very secretive about the contacts he has when i ask him he just shruggs his shoulders, he has been getting sms from other womwn including phone calls. The sms's from other women are not of a friendly nature they all suggest a relationship between the two of them, he keeps on denying it when i raise the issue he becomes violent my opinion is that he is behaving like a cornerd rat.
Ive tried ending the relationship, but it doesnt seem 2work he says he loves me & he has nobody else by i dont believe that I am so unhappy in the relationship as i feel i am giving my all n this guy (21 years) is just trying to continiuosly hurt me.
Since he has had mxit that part of my life has been hell n i feel as though dont want to be in the relationship any longer I do not have the mxit service bt i am aware of everything that happens & i do have a clear knowledge og how the service works.
HELP HELP HELP
i WOULD LIKE TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS
kind regards - your show is fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr Eve Answers
Thank you for a great letter.
First of all a woman does not stay with a man who behaves in a "violent" way when he angers; she does not stay because he says he has no one else yet relates intimately to other women; she does not stay if she is unhappy. She does not stay with a man who hurts her.
What is this that you can’t leave because he loves you — he does not behave in a caring nor respectful manner toward you and so this is not loving.
Time to move on – and you know it which is why you wrote me. Mixit cannot be blamed - he is choosing to betray you. He is a young man who is entitled to flirt and have other women – but not whilst in a relationship with you. If he still continues to MIXIT , despite your requests, you really do not want to be with a man who cannot keep a commitment.
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