When I was 5 or 6 years old, I was sexually molested by a 15 year old boy.
The memories have remained in my subconscious until about 2 years ago, when something came up in therapy.
I have been dealing with what happened in regular weekly therapy sessions, but therapy was terminated at the end of last year, as my therapist moved.
I have been managing pretty well on my own, but am looking for some advice on how one continues their life with such a memory - one that will never disappear? I don't really know of anyone else that has been through the same / a similar situation and I believe that someone cannot truly understand what you are feeling, unless they too have been in that kind of a situation.
What happened has impacted me in every sphere of my life and I'm looking for advice on how to move forward. I'm sort of stuck.
Dr Eve Replies:
Imagine a carpet. Look at all the patterns, colours , shapes. Your life is like this carpet. All of your stories, both good and bad , are woven into this carpet/your life. At different times ofyour day,certain stories form the centerpiece of your carpet. Right now it is your story of abuse. It occupies a lot of your thinking, behaviour. And makes you feel bad. Of course you want to cut this pain out, want it to go away as it messes up and blurs the rest of your carpet/life.
Imagine were you to take a scissors and cut out this piece of your carpet/life. The carpet would unravel- so would your life were you to cut this abuse out your life. Your challenge is to push the abuse to a corner of your carpet, to get to a point of peace with it so it no longer continues to dominate your life.
Childhood sexual abuse does creep into every aspect of your life, affecting your self confidence, your sexuality and intimacy levels. It is so ghastly and unfair.
The good news is that you have the power to decide how much power it has over you, where on your carpet you want to keep it. Right now its on your mind a lot so it will be centerfield on your carpet. The other good/sad news is that there are many many men and women, who like you, were sexually abused as children. I hear your call for a sense of community in which you can normalise your experience.
Please call Childline. They will welcome you into their community, get you into counselling and support groups with people who have also experienced childhood sexual abuse.
Show/Hide comment form
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
