Dear Dr Eve,
I'm a 46 year old woman and i've resently met this guy on the phone.Then I fell in love with him just by talking on the phone, now I've found that when we talk on the phone, there's that OH I FEEL something for him.We set a date on when he's coming down to Cape Town to meet me and he feels the same.
Is it possible that it can happen? The problem is I did'nt worry with seriuos relationships for 25 years and I did'nt have intercourse for 25 years, please let me know if it is ok.
I'm a healthy woman. I do somethimes mastrubate I'm sure you know that feeling. And I'm still very attractive and still looking young. Please help me with some tips on what to do. I've nevr felt like this before.
Thank you in advance
Dr. Eve answers
Falling in love is the number one feeling in the world. It enchants us, transforms us into beautiful Princesses and Prince’s, and even sexual goddesses. It makes us feel alive. It sounds as if you have buried yourself under a rock for 25 years- it’s a long time to shut down your heart and of course your sexual body. So you have to be suffering from “love sickness” now. Clearly you were ready to open up and allow yourself to fall in love- this guy walked through your door at the right time.
I do believe people fall in love over the phone, on the internet, seeing someone from a distance. Love is after all an illusion, a chemical imbalance. And therein lies the problem.
When we fall in love we are irrational, kinda crazy, don’t always make good rational decisions, become somewhat obsessive in our thoughts of the beloved. Which all leaves you vulnerable.
I urge you to create a safe visiting space when your beloved arrives. Make sure you meet initially in a public place, always let close friends/family know where you are; spend time just looking, seeing each other before jumping bones. There is a perceptual dissonance that happens when you have been chatting to when you are physically present with each other: he may feel completely different to the person you have been talking to. Take time to get used to each other’s physical presence.
The other danger of course is sex. You feel you know each other so well so having sex immediately feels right. You must be mindful – you have not been penetrated for 25 years, your vagina might be real tight, might stay dry and just not respond at first. Of course you may just open up like a wet flower in a desert!
Safer sex is essential. HIV and STI tests must be done, and condoms used all the time. I suggest you use water based lubricant such as Dr. Eve Lube so as to avoid possible pain.
Until he arrives, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate. I strongly suggest you use an internal vaginal toy to train your vagina to relax and open up. I recommend Climax Gems or Velvet Vibe or any Lelo toy.
Show/Hide comment form
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
