Hi Dr Eve. Please can you help with some advice? I am 48 years old, in excellent health.2 kids, natural births. Have not had a period in a while, but do get hot flushes and night sweats, so i guess menopause has arrived? All of a sudden, it seems as tho my brain is not sending my body the right messages. When my head gets turned on, it takes forever and a day for my vagina to become lubricated. In addition, the vagina does not get swollen, sexy and engorged like it used to. Plus, it takes a lot longer for my brain to get turned on. The situation is causing me lots of stress. your advice please?

Dr. Eve Answers:

I am pleased you are aware that this possibly is signalling the beginning of your "pause"- menopause. So many women are terrified of menopause that they go into denial when their body screams at them"give me attention - I am changing". Too many women prefer to diagnose themselves (or have a health care provider diagnose them )as depressed -  the treatment of which will  of course exacerbate the problem.

You describe common symptoms of peri menopause: irregular periods, change in nature of the periods, loss of memory, cognitive changes that make your brain feel less functional; aching joints; change in body fat distribution (tyre where there was once a flat stomach) . And then the sexual changes you mention: loss of desire, vaginal dryness, longer time to orgasm; feeling less orgasmic intensity .

Best thing for you to do right now is visit your gynecologist who will do a full assessment : physical examination, history, medical examination and then laboratory tests to test for hormonal changes. a combination of all this will indicate whether you are indeed in peri menopause. then you and your gynae will enter a discussion on how to manage you now.

I recommend you buy my book "Ageing and Sexuality" as it will give you full details on this and many other features of ageing- plus help you to knwo the correct questions to ask your gynae:)

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