Thank you so much for Pillowbook, it has changed the way I think and feel about myself.
I do have a question I'd like to ask: A good friend of mine, who also reccomended your book, suggested that I invest in a vibrator to celebrate being single.
I thought this was a fabulous idea, but I do have my concerns.
At age 25 I am stil a virgin, which was a personal choice, and I am not keen on losing my virginity to a vibrator. Then again, my definition of losing my virginity is when a man penetrates me, which is probably a little naive.
Are there any risks when using a vibrator when you are a virgin? Or should I perhaps rather buy a 'outie toy' to start with? Is there a specific product you can reccomend?
Any information you can give me would be much appreciated.
Dr. Eve answers:
Thank you for very generous words on “Pillowbook” (Oshun, 2007) .It delights me that it’s fulfilling its purpose in women’s lives. Or rather my life- as I wrote it for this purpose.
You’re right- technically you are a virgin until a man’s penis penetrates you. Many women who have suffered abusive penetrations allow themselves to consider themselves “virgins” as this penetration was forced and not their choice. That’s how important the concept of virginity is to women. I like that women make it their own individual choice however.
Thus I respect your concern and question. I like that women use tampons, even dildos before they choose penetrative sex as this gets the muscle loose and used to stretching when penetration happens. It is how you construct it in your head, however. If this feels too “penetrative” for you then of course don’t go there. The new range of toys just received have got some great dildo vibes that you can use as a trainer.
By all means stick with an “outie” toy, a toy that is just for clitoral stimulation. I like the Layaspot as a first toy because of the way it hugs the whole vulva. The new Damien is perfect for you as is the very exciting Mycero. And if you want to attempt vaginal penetration try out the new Nagi. Have fun!
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