I was repeatedly molested by my brother from the age of 6 till I was ten. He was about 19 at that age and I was scared and did not know that he was raping me. I have never spoken about it and he has passed on. I am not doing very well in relationships.What should I do?
Dr. Eve Answers:
I think anyone reading this will feel something- I know I feel anger, powerlessness, rage, sadness. That does not mean you Have to feel something like this. You have chosen to put away someplace in your mind just so you can function, survive, live. Anyone who has been violated experiences it uniquely which means , like death, there are no right or wrong ways to feel. Mostly I hear you are numb, not feeling anything.
The brain has a capacity to caretake you- in order to survive such trauma as a child your brain shuts down this information, this knowledge, to enable you to keep living. And to enable you to have adult relationships.
But as you are experiencing this trauman shows itself in different ways, commonly within an intimate space such as a relaitonship or merely through sexuality. Of course you cannot feel safe, free, abandoned to enjoy your body and the pelsaure it can give you.
I agree with the literature that shows that healing happens through talking in professional practices and groups. No one can remove this trauma for you, but you certainly can live well with it. I anger that your departed brother still has power over you, power to take way not only your childhood but your adulthood which includes the right to a safe, sexy relationship.
Call Childline : 08000 55555
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