Hi, I'm scared that my boyfriend might be a gay. The last time we had sex was three months ago, He doesn't seem to care about this matter and I do but I haven't said anything to him about this. He loves me so much and I feel the same way about him. Is there any way you can help?
Dr. Eve answers
I know you feel hurt and rejected that your boyfriend does not seek you out for sex. And I know this leads you to think a lot- you question yourself, your attractiveness, your relationship and finally you go to the “gay” scenario and think this must be the reason .
Being gay and avoiding sex with a woman are two really different issues – and confusing them causes enormous pain to the man being labeled. Of course one of the many reasons why men do not want sex with their women is because they prefer men. But you need to explore the many other reasons before making this potentially damaging accusation. And I say damaging specifically as no matter how liberal we think we all are, society still struggles to “normaize” therefore accept any other sexual orientation other than hetrsosexuality.
The only way you will discover what is really going on with your boyfreind is through sharing your pain with him. Not accusing him of anything ,merely letting him know you are in pain. I wonder how come you continue in silence for so long ..
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Sexless Marriage
I was so happy to come across your website today - have listened to you on the radio before, but never considered going onto the website, which I stumbled across today, and I just could not resist.
My husband and I have been married for 7 years now - he is 42 and I am 30 years old. We share two beautiful daughters, aged 5 and 23 months. Since the birth of my first daughter, our sex life took a major slump - we're lucky if we actually have sex 4 times a year! It's a miracle that we actually had a 2nd child, I think. My husband is quite aware that I'm unhappy with the little time we spend together, but does not really seem interested to do anything about it. And yes, I have tried to initiate but I've been rejected so many times, that I am really not up for the rejection anymore, but yet I still so much yearn to be with him. I have even threatened to have an affair to satisfy my sexual needs, but would never, because I know that this would be the end of it all, and he really is a good husband and father overall, but he doesn't see the importance of making time for ourselves and to actually keep the connection going. Am I just too "horny" because of my age, and being unreasonable, considering his age, or do you think he's having an affair? I have asked straight out and he denies it, and I do believe him when he says he's not. What else could be the problem? He does have osteoporosis and uses medication (Osteoguard) for it, does this perhaps affect the libido? I am running out of reasons as to why my husband is no longer interested in me. When we do get it on, it's really great - we both reach orgasm and we're quite adventurous and go to great lengths to ensure ultimate satisfaction for one another. So why do we get to do it so little? Please try and help. He refuses to go for therapy as he doesn't believe we have a problem, but I can see bigger problems being created if he doesn't show LOTS more interest in me SOON. It has been 9 months now!!!!!
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