I 'm 32 and my husband is 45yrs old, married for almost 3yrs,together for 9yrs. My husband has become very cold towards me since we married.
He never wants to go out with me, our sex life is very boring as he only feels like it once a month. I spoke to him about it but he keeps on saying it's work stress. I even booked an appointment at the mens clinic but he refuses to go. He's got 2kids with different woman from previous relationships and I got one child from a previous relationship. We have no children together. What can I do to make him more interested in having a sexual relationship?
Dr. Eve Replies:
These sexually reluctant, low interest men , are becoming a large clinical group. Is it just men becoming more assertive and stating their sexual truths - finally being able to say " I have a headache" and so turning the tide on women/societal expectations for them to always want sex?
Unfortunately it is often times more than a mere politcal debate. It is a terribly real problem for both partners. I wonder what his real problem is? Does he have little interest in being sexual with you? Is he struggling with erections? Is he using porn and masturbation as his primary seuxal outlet? Is he sexing someone else? Is he bored with the relationship/himself/his life? Boring people have boring sex..
First assessment I make is a medical one: perhaps he has low testosterone . Then I want to assess his life style. And finally his relationship with you.And believe it or not, it is usually the relaitonship that causes men to loose sexual interest.
Which means you need to take him for professional counselling - not Men's Clinic. Open that can of worms that the 2 of you may be avoiding - talk about your relationship. Are you brave enough to do this?? I wonder how many other women have "cold " male partners? Let me know..
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