I'm a nineteen year old student and have been seeing a guy of twenty. After being physical with him, he spoke to me about my smell that put him off.
I was very hurt by this and told him that I think it's normal. But then he brought up his ex-girlfriend who never had a smell at all, even when she came a lot and generally throughout the day, she never had a smell.At this point I just began to feel worse.
What can I do about the smell issue and do you think that he was helping by using his ex has an example?
Dr. Eve Replies:
Eish! How insensitive of your boyfriend! I guess that at age 20 years he is yet to learn sexual etiquette. No , it is never ok to compare a present partner with an ex. You are right to feel offended. I wonder if you will ever feel comfortable having sex with this man again. He needs to take responsibility for his unintended (I hope) insensitivity and be in relationship with you as a unique woman. It reminds me of the many men who grace me with their presence in my therapy room - I often hear them say in front of their women that "every other woman " he has been with will , for example, have vaginal orgasms (not true:)
In terms of your so called smell , you are the owner of your genitals and you are the best person to determine whether or not you have a "smell'. It is every woman's responsibility to smell her gentials regularly. You will soon recognise the different smells througout the month so when an unusual smell occurs you will know.
I do recommend you go for a gynaecological examination. Once you begin being sexually active it is encumbent upon you to go for annual check ups. Your gynae will test you your pee and if there are any infections he/she will pick it up. I am hoping you have not got a sexually transmitted infection from this man as this can cause an unusual smell.
Stand tall, do what you must as a sexually active woman: kick his ass a few times until he gets it and apologises, then get yourself medically checked up.
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