I have a problem with an ex boyfriend stalking, harassing me and making nuisance phone calls to me. He’s been doing this stuff for 10 years. At the end of last year he changed tack and did something he had not done previously, which prompted me to take action and go to the police this year.
Two months ago I went to the police .Originally they were sympathetic, now they’re telling me the guy is not committing a crime…so I am wondering what I could use to possibly assist in my case?
Dr. Eve answers
A good lawyer, a good therapist for support and lots of family and friends to treasure you and ensure you do not feel crazy. Or go crazy. 10 years is way too long a time to live with this enslavement. I wonder why you tolerate this situation for so long. I am aware that the law on paper provides protection for women such as yourself- and that in reality it amounts to very little.
I have learned that the only way to manage a stalker is with extreme action. The stalker is a bully and thus responds only to intense bullying back.
However after 10 years I am sure you are worn down and in no mood to be strategizing bullying techniques. Unfortunately it may take drastic action to cut loose of this man – many people literally need to move cities/countries/ jobs/lives in order to be free. By now the two of you are in a deeply co–dependant relationship and thus you need serious action to be free of him. I hope you are ready for this. Without being an alarmist we live in a country with the highest rate of femicide – men who kill their intimate partners. Take care.
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