I recently had a short lived relationship with a young women who claimed to have had a crush on me for 3 years. I found her sweet and attractive but unfortunately things just didn't happen between the sheets, thanks to my equipment not being up to it.
This lasted a week by which time she ended the relationship. This has never happened to me before and was quite embarrassing.
I'm 27, healthy, and my equipment seems to be working fine. So what happened? Was I drinking too much or just tired?
I think not, and began thinking that I might have a deeper fear of intamicy stemming from a bad sexual experience I had 10 years ago.
Is this possible? And why has it come back to affect me now? Should I seek professional help? - Not quite sure what to do.
Dr Eve Answers
Love the honesty of your body! You should take your body out and thank it for lettting you out of a situation that was wrong for you. As you say, you found her "sweet and attractive"- I hear no screaming hormones here. Rather I hear a man who was flattered by the attention of someone whom he probably would have passed over had she not come onto him.
Simply put: you were not turned on by this woman - or so it sounds to me. And when one is not turned on, please do not expect sexual functioning to be spot on.
I want for you to let this incident go - if you hang on to it you will develop a performance anxiety so next time you are between the sheets this memory will flood you and you will once again loose your erection.
Do not pathologize this incident. It is the way it happens with men. If you want to work through a past bad experience do this but don't link it to this situation with this woman.
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