Recently I was invited to be on a TEDx CapeTown panel. In preparation, they
invited me to share my words of inspiration, most specifically at this time of
COVID-19. I share them here with you:
Here is a guide to assist you to consider the tradeoffs between “benefits” and
“costs” you make all day. For example, there are rewards in that whole slab of
chocolate… and costs, including how you will feel about yourself the following
day. There are rewards in turning your back on your partner when you are
angry… and the cost is that your attachment to each other is broken.
In doing this exercise, I hope you will have clarity on how to starve your fear so
that you can be free to create passion and purpose in your life… right now… by
making good bargains – good choices.


1. Be more aware of the little choices you make about what you will and will not do. Do this by slowing down your mind so you can THINK and weigh up the anticipated benefits and costs that will result.

2. Pick a desire that has been an issue for you (for example food, porn, online shopping) and ask yourself: Are the expected benefits really that good? Try to imagine them in your body. How intense are they, how long will they last? What price will you pay later? Are there better ways to get these benefits? Are there better benefits to be found pursuing other aims?

3. Pick something that has been a block for you (for example, asserting yourself in your relationship, sharing with a partner what really sexually arouses you) and ask yourself: Are the expected costs really that bad? How uncomfortable would you actually be, how long would it really last… and how could you cope? Would you survive the experience? How would you feel about yourself finally pushing through this fear? What other rewards would come to you?

4. Now jump in… take just one calculated risk. Be sure to take this risk only when you are feeling safe and secure in yourself and in the relationship/friendship. Take positive action to starve your fear.

Feel free to reach out to me via WhatsApp. Anonymity is guaranteed. Let me know where your anxieties, fears, and worries sit with you. Tell me what is soothing for you. And what you need in this time of radical uncertainty.

060 890 1062

Feel free to book a teletherapy Zoom session with me right here…

For more information please contact my PA Shantel:
Take care
Marlene #stayhome