Has your partner done anything during sex that has made you feel scared ?

“ Euphoria” has to be the one of the most memorable series that I have ever seen. Difficult and uncomfortable to sit through , visually gorgeous , it shows the lives of a group of  High School teens living their lives. And their lives are any parents worst nightmare of drug addiction , web cam sex work, abusive relationships and…

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What do you do post coital? 

Place yourself into this scenario. The penetration has happened. He has had an orgasm, She may be one of the 15% of women who reliably orgasm through only vaginal penetration . Or more likely she is  one of the 65% of women who orgasm , primarily  through  clitoral stimulation . What happens now? What do you do now? What does…

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Cut or Uncut? #Penistalk

  The penis matters. Ask any man. In a heartbeat he will be able to  describe to you, in minute detail, every mark, fold of skin, bend and texture on his penis. After all he spends a lot of time fondling it as he relaxes,  masturbates , places  it in his underwear , pees  and penetrates a person with it.…

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THE BLESSER. 

When I search #blessed  on Instagram, , there are 2 categories of women who pop up.  One is of women feeling #blessed by having God in their lives and the other is a group of many thousands of women who feel #blessed by a #blesser. A Blesser is a popular name for “sugar daddy”, the name  having been made popular…

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Limerence : a painful harmful love

  You’re at a workshop. You make eye contact with a person . It feels intense . A connection has been made . You chat. You feel there is a mutual understanding of specialness. You feel you have fallen in love, but really in love, not just   a crush. Not a sexual lust. A feeling so intense that it…

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Domestic Violence can Kill you : This information may save you.

  The worst part of my domestic violence was that there was no end date. I never knew when it would happen and I never knew if it would ever end. And even when I left , I remained on the look out. Truth be told, I , like most victims of domestic violence was unable to leave, He literally…

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Tell me your Abortion Story.

It was late at night when a  WhatsApp message came through on my professional line. The young woman was  spinning out as  2 nights previously, she and her boyfriend had unprotected sex and he used the  pull out method. She wanted to know how effective emergency contraception would be, 72 hours having being past. In her words, and language she used…

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My ageing body wants sex !

I look in the mirror and I see an aged face and a body that is fit and strong.. and aged. Wrinkles, droopiness, thinning skin, hair and nails , stare back at me. I turn away faster than in previous years, I  put on beautiful underwear ,  dress in colours that make me feel alive, spray on perfume and go…

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The Healing Game : Tips on how to recover from Infidelity

I used to wonder why individuals  and couples who came to me in a state of crisis ,  near collapse, after the discovery of infidelity, never sustained their time in therapy. They fastidiously endured the critical initial phases of therapy. They would do  anything to make the pain go away. And therapy is indeed a healthy way of going through…

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Forgiveness of my perpetrator : yes or no ?!

I  observe closely  the hand wringing and   agitated  physical movements as I hear  the contradictorily   strong voiced declarations.  Declarations of hard work to get to this place of acceptance.and peace.   Hard work toward  Forgiveness.  This is followed by  intense gazing at me, short silences, as the person waits for my response. Approval is sought from me. Approval…

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