Angry Words are a one way ticket to Gender Based Violence

  Has there ever been a time in your life when you have  got so angry that you ended up hurting someone you care about ? With words, not actions, just words. Words that left you looking around and wondering  out of whose mouth did those words  just come? Once you have returned to emotional regulation, you can be present…

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The best of Dr Eve and Eusebius McKaiser , Radio 702: 2019

  Its 11am Friday morning. The jingle plays “Talking Sex” . I am alert and excited to begin the conversation . During the week my host, Eusebius McKaiser and I have mindfully discussed the topic and  thrown around ideas. We aim to educate, provoke and provide a safe and professional space for listeners. However we can never predict listeners’ response…

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My first sexual intercourse experience

Think back to your first sexual intercourse experience. Actually don’t think.. notice the sensations that come up in your body right now: warm glow all over, sudden pelvic  contraction, heart pounding , throat constricting, head throbbing plus plus . Merely checking into your body will be enough to tell you whether or not that first intercourse experience was positive and…

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The interpersonal lives of sex workers: dating , motherhood and romance.

This blog is not about what you do know about sex workers. Rather it is what you may not know about sex workers. It is about their interpersonal lives.  Here is  what we do know about South African sex workers (courtesy of Sonke Gender Justice/Zia Wasserman )  *  In  South Africa sex work is illegal. *  The simple  version of the…

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Limerence : a painful harmful love

  You’re at a workshop. You make eye contact with a person . It feels intense . A connection has been made . You chat. You feel there is a mutual understanding of specialness. You feel you have fallen in love, but really in love, not just   a crush. Not a sexual lust. A feeling so intense that it…

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Domestic Violence can Kill you : This information may save you.

  The worst part of my domestic violence was that there was no end date. I never knew when it would happen and I never knew if it would ever end. And even when I left , I remained on the look out. Truth be told, I , like most victims of domestic violence was unable to leave, He literally…

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Forgiveness of my perpetrator : yes or no ?!

I  observe closely  the hand wringing and   agitated  physical movements as I hear  the contradictorily   strong voiced declarations.  Declarations of hard work to get to this place of acceptance.and peace.   Hard work toward  Forgiveness.  This is followed by  intense gazing at me, short silences, as the person waits for my response. Approval is sought from me. Approval…

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