Angry Words are a one way ticket to Gender Based Violence

  Has there ever been a time in your life when you have  got so angry that you ended up hurting someone you care about ? With words, not actions, just words. Words that left you looking around and wondering  out of whose mouth did those words  just come? Once you have returned to emotional regulation, you can be present…

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POSTING SEXUAL IMAGES (PSI) AND SEXTING : MENTALLY HEALTHY ? ?

Have you ever wondered if posting sexual images or sexting makes you deviant, perverted , or  a little crazy? Or do you brazenly post without giving it a second thought . Perhaps you do stop to wonder if this is legal (ask Emma Sadlier please )  pornographic , within the bounds of monogamy. Or maybe  you accept this as normative…

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Are you a sexually healthy person ?

  I cringe as I write the words “sexually healthy “. There is so much pressure to be sexually “normal” , that to add on the emotional and physical  burden of being sexually “healthy ”  might feel  like adding coal to the fire. It sounds prescriptive and I don’t like anything prescriptive when it comes to sexuality. I imagine you…

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The best of Dr Eve and Eusebius McKaiser , Radio 702: 2019

  Its 11am Friday morning. The jingle plays “Talking Sex” . I am alert and excited to begin the conversation . During the week my host, Eusebius McKaiser and I have mindfully discussed the topic and  thrown around ideas. We aim to educate, provoke and provide a safe and professional space for listeners. However we can never predict listeners’ response…

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An examination of Friendship, Love and Loneliness

I dedicate this to anyone who has recently fallen in love, has been in love,  or wants to be in love. After all in Western society love is the purest most sublime experience. We situate love before values such as justice, solidarity ,human  rights, kindness and respect, says Mari Luz Esteban, a lecturer in Social Anthropology at the University of…

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My polyamorous week in Barcelona

  I am at the airport in Barcelona, reflecting on  my week of attendance and presentation at the Non Monogamous and Contemporary Intimacies (NMCI)   conference. This is the third  NMCI conference so many of us are familiar with each other. As with most conferences, the add on value happens outside of the conference rooms: sharing thoughts, lives and new…

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Zoo Sex: criminal, paraphilia, or moral disgust ?

“I love my sheep.. I mean, I really love my sheep. I take care of them , herd them in nightly and sleep with them .” “Sleep with them ?” I ask.  .”Yes , have sex with some of  them, the ones that I find sexually attractive. There is nothing wrong with this . It is my sexual orientation .…

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Breasts and sexuality after cancer: it matters

There is nothing “Pink” nor “Feminine” about breast cancer. In fact, just the opposite.  So let’s not pretend otherwise. It’s an insult to women. Yes, “women”, not “warriors” nor “fighters”.   It denies them a much needed safe space to talk about their breasts, nipples, vaginas and sexuality. Women are be told to “fight back” as if they have any control over…

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The interpersonal lives of sex workers: dating , motherhood and romance.

This blog is not about what you do know about sex workers. Rather it is what you may not know about sex workers. It is about their interpersonal lives.  Here is  what we do know about South African sex workers (courtesy of Sonke Gender Justice/Zia Wasserman )  *  In  South Africa sex work is illegal. *  The simple  version of the…

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To shave or not to shave: Pubic Hair Removal under the microscope

  In Eve Ensler’s play “The  Vagina Monologues “ , a woman tells a story of her pubic hair. She never liked trimming or shaving her hair. She liked it natural. Her husband liked her to shave, to be completely  clean shaven, , to remove all her pubic hair.  She disliked it as she said it made her feel like…

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