Painful Sex – OHNUT is here to assist you

The kids are finally asleep, you’re feeling close and connected with him and want to let him know that you’re in the mood for some love making. In a flash the memory of pain gets you to catch your breathe. And you don’t. You don’t let him know that you desire sex with him. You refrain from turning down the…

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How Deep is your Love ?

  There has been no other time in history than now when love presents itself in great abundance . Love of frontline workers providing essential services, health care providers especially, is globally felt as one big heart pumping love to both know and unknown people in the world. Love is  shown to ex partners, to long lost friends, neighbours, to…

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What to do when you can no longer hook up?!

  Remember the days when swiping left or right was a form of entertainment whilst you were on the bus,  the toilet or bored at work? Those days when you could jump from one online chat to another with just your thumb doing all the work. And meeting for a quick hook up during your lunch break. Are you feeling…

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Tools to understand and manage Intimate Conflict

One tele-therapy session after the other , I notice the tension and dis-ease between 2 people who fill up my screen. In the confines of a screen I get to notice a lot more than when I have the same couple sitting on my therapy couch. I see the fear in their eyes, the tightness in their jaws, and the…

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237 reasons to have sex ?#CoronaVirus

  “Wow” , you thought, “lockdown with my beloved for 4 weeks” and the sex part of your brain lit up. Suddenly you imagined hours and hours of sex . Sneaky sex, lazy Sunday morning sex midday on  a Wednesday , an opportunity to explore fantasies together, and even experiment sexually, both online and offline. You may have even imagined…

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I am in lock down with my cheating partner

A week into lock down and you notice that your usually shopping averse husband, is jumping at the opportunity to buy essentials at the grocery store. You also become aware that these shopping trips are pretty lengthy. Whilst thanking him for his enthusiasm and helpfulness, you wonder is it just corona virus craziness that has caused this change in his…

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You want me to do what ??!!! Corona Virus lockdown

  Spending 3 weeks in lockdown with  a known  partner either fills  the heart with forgotten  butterflies or dread. It could also mean moving in with a new person as partners who do not live together cannot see each other in person .   You choose this over 3 weeks of separation . Perhaps your long distance lover decides  to…

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Pornography consumption : how much does it influence your sexual expectations and behaviour?

At the outset I state that this is not a blog about the harm/benefits of pornography consumption . Rather this is a matter of fact invitation for you to consider whether or not your porn consumption influences your real life sexual activity, either alone or with a  partner/s.  And if so, in what way does it do this? I also…

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Non Binary #101

“Do you, personally, identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender?” This is a research question asked of young people in multiple cultures and countries,  And commonly the outcome remains the same, as reported in the book  “Life isn’t binary: on being both, beyond and in-bewteen ” , by Meg-John Barker and Alex Iantaffi Nearly half of young people see themselves…

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Why and How Females Masturbate

Google “how to masturbate” and you will be confronted  with  many guides on “Dating  your down under” , or Touch Yourself. All aimed  at women.  Interspersed are a few guides for men /people with a penis. It implies a silent understanding that men know how to masturbate and do it as part of their male privilege. Im not undermining the…

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