Category Archives: Intimacy

Commitment ambiguity hurts people

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] […]

Intimate Loneliness: Sex with things

A few months ago , acclaimed  German artist and visual activist SaySay.Love reached out  and invited me to consider creating an event for his upcoming Exhibition, “Intimate Loneliness /Sex with Things”, at the Gus Gallery, Stellenbosch , 30th January. Like a well trained automated bot, I reached for my device and googled. And did an In […]

Are sexual boundaries necessary for teens? Yes but…

Millennials and their younger siblings are living paradoxes:  they are activists, (#Feesmustfall #MeToo)  inspire sociopolitical change, embrace diversity,  and  are tree hugging  ecologically minded. Yet their  vulnerabilities are well documented. They’re experiencing staggering increases in the rates of psychiatric disorders,  loneliness, suicides, and in the USA,  opioid deaths. Their primary form of sexual activity is […]

Singilism and Matrimania : are you guilty of these?

I have ping ponged between being single, attached , single, attached. I have experienced the flood of social  invitations  from other couples when partnered and the social  isolation  from these same friends when single. I am way past wondering why partnered people truly believe that single people have no life and thus available for baby […]

How well do you know your partner?

Hello to you in 2019! I am well lit with the magic I am planning for myself in 2019. I invite you to join  me as I explore new ideas on healthy, tech intimacy driven  sexuality and relationships that are the future of sex. However before we move into the future we must linger in […]

If You’re Distressed About Your Sexual Desire, This Could Be Why

It’s appropriate and healthy to reconsider the role of sexual desire in your own life, value system and in relation to your partnerships.   On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being the lowest and 5 the highest, rate how important your sexual desire is to you. Give a reason for this rating. […]

Here’s A Guide On How To Amicably End Intimate Situations

Taking action feels overwhelming. Nowhere is this more abundantly felt than when ending a significant relationship. I work with complex relationships. Clinically this refers to relationships that have trauma associated with them. This might be a fresh trauma, like death, an accident, a job loss or discovery of infidelity. Or it could be a childhood […]

Dear Diary, Today We Had A Fight, And No Sex

I have no doubt that your sexual repertoire is dependent on and limited by the amount of conflict, sexual difficulties and frequency you have daily. I need to be physically warm. Which means that I keep my environment overheated. This is not a good thing for couples who arrive in my therapy room, anxious, with attendant […]

Depression Stole My Partner

Many people erroneously think taking a PDE5I, like Viagra, Levitra, Cialis will do the trick – restore the erection and all will be well.   In sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, we vow to love a partner eternally. In reality this is a big ask. How many of us can honestly say […]