My polyamorous week in Barcelona

  I am at the airport in Barcelona, reflecting on  my week of attendance and presentation at the Non Monogamous and Contemporary Intimacies (NMCI)   conference. This is the third  NMCI conference so many of us are familiar with each other. As with most conferences, the add on value happens outside of the conference rooms: sharing thoughts, lives and new…

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Zoo Sex: criminal, paraphilia, or moral disgust ?

“I love my sheep.. I mean, I really love my sheep. I take care of them , herd them in nightly and sleep with them .” “Sleep with them ?” I ask.  .”Yes , have sex with some of  them, the ones that I find sexually attractive. There is nothing wrong with this . It is my sexual orientation .…

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A guide to parents of gender diverse children

  Gone are the days of a pink cradle and a blue cradle, a pink or a blue wardrobe. Once the baby reveal party. has happened ,  politically correct and woke parents/  women  sit back in the well thought out  gender neutral space they have created and with curiosity wonder what gender their child will decide is their choice: male,…

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Breasts and sexuality after cancer: it matters

There is nothing “Pink” nor “Feminine” about breast cancer. In fact, just the opposite.  So let’s not pretend otherwise. It’s an insult to women. Yes, “women”, not “warriors” nor “fighters”.   It denies them a much needed safe space to talk about their breasts, nipples, vaginas and sexuality. Women are be told to “fight back” as if they have any control over…

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The interpersonal lives of sex workers: dating , motherhood and romance.

This blog is not about what you do know about sex workers. Rather it is what you may not know about sex workers. It is about their interpersonal lives.  Here is  what we do know about South African sex workers (courtesy of Sonke Gender Justice/Zia Wasserman )  *  In  South Africa sex work is illegal. *  The simple  version of the…

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To shave or not to shave: Pubic Hair Removal under the microscope

  In Eve Ensler’s play “The  Vagina Monologues “ , a woman tells a story of her pubic hair. She never liked trimming or shaving her hair. She liked it natural. Her husband liked her to shave, to be completely  clean shaven, , to remove all her pubic hair.  She disliked it as she said it made her feel like…

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Has your partner done anything during sex that has made you feel scared ?

“ Euphoria” has to be the one of the most memorable series that I have ever seen. Difficult and uncomfortable to sit through , visually gorgeous , it shows the lives of a group of  High School teens living their lives. And their lives are any parents worst nightmare of drug addiction , web cam sex work, abusive relationships and…

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What do you do post coital? 

Place yourself into this scenario. The penetration has happened. He has had an orgasm, She may be one of the 15% of women who reliably orgasm through only vaginal penetration . Or more likely she is  one of the 65% of women who orgasm , primarily  through  clitoral stimulation . What happens now? What do you do now? What does…

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Cut or Uncut? #Penistalk

  The penis matters. Ask any man. In a heartbeat he will be able to  describe to you, in minute detail, every mark, fold of skin, bend and texture on his penis. After all he spends a lot of time fondling it as he relaxes,  masturbates , places  it in his underwear , pees  and penetrates a person with it.…

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THE BLESSER. 

When I search #blessed  on Instagram, , there are 2 categories of women who pop up.  One is of women feeling #blessed by having God in their lives and the other is a group of many thousands of women who feel #blessed by a #blesser. A Blesser is a popular name for “sugar daddy”, the name  having been made popular…

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