Category Archives: Mindfulness

Dear Dr.Eve – My partner refuses to use lube

“Dear Dr. Eve My partner refuses to use lube. He says that if I need lube it means that I am not aroused by him. It means that he is not a good lover. He says that no woman who is with him needs lube as he will do the work and get her sufficiently […]

Painful Sex – OHNUT is here to assist you

The kids are finally asleep, you’re feeling close and connected with him and want to let him know that you’re in the mood for some love making. In a flash the memory of pain gets you to catch your breathe. And you don’t. You don’t let him know that you desire sex with him. You […]

Grief and Journal Writing

  ’CLICK HERE TO SEE ME TALK ABOUT HOW TO JOURNAL’ Grief has many different faces and feelings.  Perhaps you are feeling grief but not identified your feelings as such.  Identifying them as “grief” may in itself bring you some relief.  I know it is always helpful to me.   The most renowned grief […]

Tools to understand and manage Intimate Conflict

One tele-therapy session after the other , I notice the tension and dis-ease between 2 people who fill up my screen. In the confines of a screen I get to notice a lot more than when I have the same couple sitting on my therapy couch. I see the fear in their eyes, the tightness […]

237 reasons to have sex ?#CoronaVirus

  “Wow” , you thought, “lockdown with my beloved for 4 weeks” and the sex part of your brain lit up. Suddenly you imagined hours and hours of sex . Sneaky sex, lazy Sunday morning sex midday on  a Wednesday , an opportunity to explore fantasies together, and even experiment sexually, both online and offline. […]

I am in lock down with my cheating partner

A week into lock down and you notice that your usually shopping averse husband, is jumping at the opportunity to buy essentials at the grocery store. You also become aware that these shopping trips are pretty lengthy. Whilst thanking him for his enthusiasm and helpfulness, you wonder is it just corona virus craziness that has […]

The best of Dr Eve and Eusebius McKaiser , Radio 702: 2019

  Its 11am Friday morning. The jingle plays “Talking Sex” . I am alert and excited to begin the conversation . During the week my host, Eusebius McKaiser and I have mindfully discussed the topic and  thrown around ideas. We aim to educate, provoke and provide a safe and professional space for listeners. However we […]

Relationship Trauma: Ways to correct the crazy

You simply cannot avoid relationship trauma. Perhaps you’re balking as you read the words “relationship” and “trauma ” in the same sentence.  – or sighing with relief as you resonate with this. After all relationships are supposed to be our ideal spiritual home, the place we strive towards as a sacred ambition . Relationships are […]

Dear Diary, Today We Had A Fight, And No Sex

I have no doubt that your sexual repertoire is dependent on and limited by the amount of conflict, sexual difficulties and frequency you have daily. I need to be physically warm. Which means that I keep my environment overheated. This is not a good thing for couples who arrive in my therapy room, anxious, with attendant […]

Why You Need To Remove ‘Sex Addiction’ From Your Mind And Vocabulary — Dr Eve

There is no addiction. Only a diverse form of sexual behaviour. Perhaps you are one of these men or have been accused of being one of them, you may even be married to one. You certainly have heard of this man: the man who is addicted to sex. This is the man who is accused […]